Mary J. Blige Opens Up About Alcoholism, Childhood Molestation
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Mary J. Blige is a happily married Grammy winner now, but things haven't come easy for the 40-year-old singer-songwriter.
In an episode of Behind the Music that aired Sunday on VH1, Blige opens up about her struggle with alcoholism and the childhood molestation that haunted her for years.
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"When I was five years old I was molested," she says. "I remember feeling, literally, right before it happened, I just could not believe that this person was going to do this to me. That thing followed me all my life. The shame of thinking my molestation was my fault. It led me to believe I wasn't worth anything."
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Blige also speaks out about her struggle with alcoholism. "It was bigger than me, and it was definitely going to kill me. So I was like, this is it, and let's go. I remember sitting on my bed. I swear, I don't know what death feels like, but I felt like my spirit was trying to leave my body.
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The Rock of Ages star says it was her husband, Kendu Isaacs, who inspired her to get sober. "I stopped drinking," she says. "It was will power. It was prayer. It was really hard. But, I care so much about him, I didn't want to be just this alcoholic burden on him. He doesn't deserve for me to be some, you know, slum-bucket alcoholic, and so I took responsibility and I cleaned up, as much as I could. But it was hard."
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1Well, I THOUGHT I was really alone in dealing with child molestation for most of my life too! I commend her for sharing this with the public! I'm almost 40 and it still hurts me! I use to blame myself also! After going to therapy in the early 2000's, I learned that a child only knows what an adult teaches us! Though we are born sexual beings, we are taught by adults who violate us by molesting us! Children have feelings but don't knpw how to express them unless a "creep" of a relative or even a friend of the family shows them! My point, I was the child he was a sexually active teenager and relative. Therefore, it wasn't my fault! I also learned that we can't control the actions of others, but we can control our own actions. We have the power to move forward and to make our lives better. We have the control of how we react and how we handle tough situations! I chose to be free from the shame and guilt that my sexual predators placed on me! It is also sad, but often that child victims grow up to be adult victims as well, as in my case! I still chose to move forward and not let what someone else done to me control me anymore! Even if the predator was never prosecuted. For now on I take it to God!! Thanks Mary! I'm trying to get my singing career back off the ground and you really inspire me! Knowing that you share the same pain and overcome it, I know now that if my comeback is not successful, it's only because I'm failing and no one else is to blame!