Michelle Williams: It's "Impossible" to Fill Void Left by Heath Ledger
Credit: Courtesy of Marie Claire (2)
Three years later, Michelle Williams has learned to live with the shocking 2008 overdose death of Heath Ledger, her ex boyfriend and dad to her daughter Matilda, now 5 -- but that doesn't mean she'll ever recover.
"Obviously, for me and for [Matilda], there's a hole in our life," the Blue Valentine actress, 30, tells the February issue of Marie Claire.
PHOTOS: Most shocking celebrity deaths of all time
"Of course the natural inclination is to want to fill it and make it disappear," the star explains, "but what I've come to recently is that it's impossible. Nothing will fit in that hole because what we want back we can't get, which is this one person. I'm not going to rush anything and scamper around like a mad person and make myself crazy. I'm trying to be respectful of the absence. I'm not trying to fill it up. It is what it is."
PHOTOS: Hollywood moms and their cute kids
Williams took a major sabbatical after Ledger's death. "I didn't work for a year. I needed to gather myself and put my life back together," she says. "I had to be dragged back to work, basically, because I finally had my life in some kind of order, and I didn't know what would happen if I introduced work into it."
PHOTOS: Stylists tell Us what Michelle and other celebs should wear to the Golden Globes
And what about her love life these days? Williams demurs on specifics, but jokes of off-set romance talk with Blue Valentine costar Ryan Gosling: "My poor mom really wants me to meet someone. I think she wanted to believe the Ryan Gosling rumor more than anybody." (Their sex scenes were so intense that the flick narrowly dodged an NC-17 rating.)
The buzzed-about star isn't even sure she's the marrying kind. "The idea that you can get everything you want in one person is destructive," she says of finding your soulmate. "And maybe when you accept that the number is closer to 50 or 60 or 70 percent, that's when you can start to make some progress in choosing the right person."
PHOTOS: This season's hottest star hookups
Her search for a longtime companion is complicated by the fact that she's a mom, she adds. "I don't want to make a mistake that big, and that saddens me, because it's harder to let yourself go. I can inflict any kind of injury on myself, but with my daughter, that's not an option."
Tell Us What You Think
8They weren't together because she had kicked him out of their lives .A judge should have intervened to protect Heath's parental rights. They weren't married but she sure wants to play the "grieving widow" for all she can get. It's her claim to fame. I feel sorry for Matilda. Heath's parents should have been given custody of her since her mother is so busy with her "career". As for not being able to "fill the void"? She's had her "void" filled by five different guys since Heath died. Oh, but I'm sure Mr. Guy of the moment is going to last. Uh Huh.
Wow people, just because people are broken up doesn't mean you don't still love the person. These magazines ask questions and the celebrities answer and she gave her honest answer, so all you negative people just need to bugger off. I know that if I was with someone and loved then deeply and had a child with them if they died suddenly I sure would be mourning their death and yes there wouldn't be someone to fill that void because you can not fill the void of loved ones that have died.
How can you guys says that? She obviously still loved him in a different, maybe not romantic way. Seeing he was the father of her child and they stayed very close. They were together for three years, my heart breaks for her.
She looks awful in the second picture
Oh, puhhhhhleeeeeze! So tired of hearing her capitalize off of his death. They weren't even together when he died. Enough already Michelle. Enoug!
he was still the father of her baby and maybe they were still close and friendly.. you don't every detail of their relationship. yes we should mourn the one who passed away, but the ones left behind are the ones who suffer and have to deal with the pain.
And his death was sad and unexpected especially to have died so young, and I do feel bad for the little daughter having to grow up without her father, but still, if she feels this way , why'd they break up anyhow?
Oh Bologna! They weren't even together when he died, they had broken up months before he even died, this is a sob story so that people can feel sorry for the grieving one he left behind. She talks like they were living together and married and she was "widowed" as a result of his death. They weren't even together when he died so give me a break!