Rihanna: It "Took a Lot of Strength" to Leave Abusive Chris Brown
Credit: Michael Thompson/GQ
By continuing to speak out about Chris Brown's violent Feb. 8 attack, Rihanna says she is slowly moving past the ugly incident.
"It's relieving," the singer, 21, says in the January issue of GQ. "Because it was built up for so long, and all these thoughts and emotions have been running through my mind for the past eight months. And now it's like I finally get to let go and move on."
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Although she says doesn't like "talking about it" a lot, "every time I do, it's better; it's easier each time."
She says she finally decided to speak out about the incident because "I wanted to move on. And I knew that was the only way I could have done it. And I wanted people to move on with me. 'Cause the last big thing they know about me is That Night. And I don't want that to be what people define me as."
See what Rihanna looked like as a child
Although pal Jay-Z gave her "advice and guidance," she says "nobody" helped her move past the incident.
"I didn't really want to be around anybody, for them to stare at me and stuff, and feel sorry for me. So I just — I stayed in the house a lot. Then I started to get cabin fever. I was like, I'm going crazy in here," says the singer, who just dropped her latest album, Rated R.
Returning to the studio was therapeutic, she says.
See Rihanna and other stars who took huge fashion risks this year
Looking back, Rihanna says the biggest lesson she learned is that "love is blind."
"It took a lot of strength to pull out of that relationship," she says. "To finally just officially cut it off. It was like night and day. It was two different worlds. It was the world I lived for two years, and then having the strength to say, 'I'm gonna step into my own world. Start over.'"
See Rihanna and Chris Brown through the years
She says the physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain.
"The bruises fade away," she says. "But the thing that stays with you is the emotional scars."
Asked if she'll ever be friends with Brown again, she says, "Maybe in like ten years, you know? But it's not something that I'm depending on. I'm not depending on his friendship."
See Rihanna's most scandalous outfits
Her message to women in abusive relationships?
"Stop blaming yourself for that outcome," she says. "There's nothing you can do, ever, to excuse a man's behavior like that."
Tell Us What You Think
152I felt so bad for her. If I had known her, I would have been there for her through the pain and suffering she's been through. I've never heard or seen someone go through domestic violence before. She's strong just like all the girls out there.
One thing about woman is they are more protected by a country policies.... but riri you deserve more beating.
*As for Rhiana allegedly hitting her brother* im not defending chris. but not allegedly, she said so herself couple of years ago. it doesnt matter though. just saying.
*Men are physically stronger* Not in all cases, some men do get abused by women. But in this case, I have to say Chris is stronger then her.
every = ever
Why is that when every a black celeb does somethings stupid, they are called the next OJ. Pleaseee PJP = ignorant fool!!! Charlie sheen is closer to being the next OJ. You thick person. I’m not a fan of Chris. If you want to pick the next OJ for Hollywood, I can pick several white dudes (who hasn’t lost their jobs like Chris) before picking Chris. FOOL!
Please remember Rihanna, CB=OJ. Only younger.
Please remember Rihanna, CB=OJ. Only younger.
what a sexy shot of rihanna, she looks afar better without heavy makeup!
This new photo by Rihanna is sexy. I like it. Pls visit my blog BLOG.LVBAGMALL
wow yo dats crazyii but hey she gets to do as she like's....
you and chris brown looked adorable together but you did the right thing by leaving. i didn't know he was so abusive
To the poster Jess...... So......Since I don't agree with you and the rest of the self appointed moral judges,you say "I have too much time on my hands",yet YOU took the time just as I did to get on this site and post to me.LOL Some of you really need to think about what you say before posting but then I realize that "thinking" is limited for you......
I AM VERY PROUD OF YOUR ACTIONS BECAUSE IT HARD SOMETIMES TO REALLY LET GO EVEN WHEN WE SAY WE WILL. KEEP MAKING YOUR MONEY AND LISTENING TO POSITIVE PEOPLE. EVENTHOUGH YOU HAVE KISSED A FROG IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, SOMEDAY YOUR PRINCE WILL COME. LOOKING GOOD IN THAT GQ MAGAZINE AND YOUR NEW ALBUM IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so laughing @ people that make excuses for Rihanna hitting her OWN brother in the face with a glass bottle just because you knew nothing about it.... The real truth is, people are going to think as they want but it's my opinion that a person that stoop to "hitting their brother with a glass bottle in the face" and who'd hit Chris on occasion" is a volatile person and not at all some helpless victim,please that is massive nonsense...
To Christine....... You're a fool to stay with someone that beat you 2 years,so lets not pretend that Rihanna is an inspiration,she has yet to speak on women.Frankly you don't know what kind of relationship she and Chris had.You only know about the fight that she started getting out of hand... Rihanna even admitted to only leaving Chris,once the sponsors threatened to end her contacts,I mean did you not see the interview? Rihanna even said Chris only had that one incident with her,but now of course she left out all the times she "hit him" and how jealous she was of his female fans and how nasty she was towards them......
I'm so laughing @ people who seem to think I'm Chris Brown,no I'm not Chris but I say you will believe what you want to anyway..... I'm laughing at the posters that got mad because I brought up what "Rihanna" SAID about hitting her brother,whats wrong HYPOCRITES,oh I know since the DECEPTIVE media has not talked about it,for you that means it didn't happen. The real truth is that no abuse needs to be glossed over and that includes the pretend saint Rihanna abuse towards Chris because she was and is still obsessed with him.... Breaking News:::::::Chris cd is already gold because of foreign sales and their ability to examine the music as opposed to sitting on thrones of judgement as many of you American Hypocrites tend to do..........Have a nice day
Hi Christine - it takes strength just to type what you did in here. Figure out what little steps you can take to become more independent from the abusive person in your life. Say positive things about yourself -- get a piece of paper now and write down 5 good qualities you have. Your abuser is just unhappy/stressed and is displacing their misery on you. You don't deserve that and they won't change, so you need to leave. You do have worth and value. Read the poem Desiderata (you can find it online), I've found it to be reassuring. You can type to me here if you'd like. I know you have the strength within you to do what you have to do. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself.
For any women reading this article who are currently being physically or verbally abused by your spouse/bf, you don't deserve it. Don't believe what they may say about you when they put your down. It's their problem, not yours. Make a plan for yourself for the New Year and figure out what steps you need to take to get out (and your kids too). You don't have to take it. You have value and worth as a person, and it is not determined by what someone else says about you. Life is too short to stick around and hope someone will change. Do what you have to do, but make a plan, research alternatives, talk to other women at a local shelter (and they can put you in touch with other women who made the transition successfully) and keep your plans under the radar, but know the day you'll make your escape. You can do it! You are a good person and you are worth it!
Hey Symone (aka Chris Brown?) - Again, nothing justifies the beat-up bruised cut face and Chris Brown's teeth bite marks on Rhianna. Get it? I don't care what "she" said about herself or her relationships -- there is NO JUSTIFICATION for what he did to her. NONE. Men are physically stronger -- look at the photos of what that monster did to her... he was totally unscathed. He BIT her. He PUNCHED her. He SLAMMED HER HEAD against the car. He made her BLEED. Her face was SWOLLEN and BRUISED. In what universe is that kind of behavior from a young punk man ever acceptable -- it ISN"T. You go ahead and keep trying to make Chris feel better by the lame "she started it" or "she hit her brother" or whatever other lame a$$ excuse he can come up with. He hurt her emotionally so terribly by what he did. He is a LOSER who is having sour grapes because his career is TOAST after what he did and how he has reacted. He and Kanye should go into treatment together and learn humility and that they are not the center of the universe and that there are things they can't get away with -- and that THEY are responsible for the failure of their careers. Chris Brown only has himself to blame -- no one else's fault, certainly NOT Rhianna. Symone - if you're a fan of Chris, you're not doing him any favors by talking turkey in these forums. STFU. If you want to take me on, I'm a strong woman and I don't take any BS from weasels like you and I've got R's back. So quit while you're ahead.