In the new Us Weekly (on newsstands now), reality star Ruby Gettinger reveals that she is considering hypnosis to remember possible childhood traumas that may caused her weight to grow to a staggering 716 pounds by the late 90s.
"I have nightmares about someone trying to kill me," Gettinger, 47, tells Us Weekly. "I can never see that person's face, but something tells me I know who it is. I wake up hardly able to breathe, dreaming someone's hands are around my neck."
Her biggest fear: "If someone hurt me when I was a child - verbally, physically, whatever - it would have been somebody I love."
Gettinger tells Us Weekly she was shocked to hear that her mother Anne, 75, narrowly avoided molestation by a family member.
"My childhood physician's assistant 'Dr. Dukes' has a theory she overfed me in order to make me unattractive to men so I would not face the same danger," Gettinger says of her mother. "I don't believe it. My mom was always protective [Ruby's father, now deceased, traveled frequently for the Air Force], but she never force-fed me.
"Still, she definitely enabled me," she continues. "It was obvious I overate, yet she bought snacks for me. She knew I loved creamed corn, and she would bring it home for me. She's said she feels a lot of guilt -- like she should have stopped it."
Today, 400 pounds lighter, the 5-foot-9 Gettinger -- a self-described food addict -- says she is "scared" of hypnosis, "but if I don't remember anything else and the nightmares keep coming, I'm going to take that next step."
For more -- including at what age she first began to overeat; the frightening way food "controlled" her whole life; how she has managed to get her weight down to around 300 pounds and her hopes of competing on Dancing With the Stars -- pick up the new Us Weekly today!