The struggle is real.  Ali Vincent — the first female to win The Biggest Loser in 2008 after losing 112 pounds — revealed on Facebook on Wednesday, April 20, that she has gained back nearly all the weight. 

“On April 16th I did one of the hardest things in my life I joined Weight Watchers and weighed in close to the weight I started at on The Biggest Loser,” she wrote, a few days after her eight year anniversary of winning NBC’s weight loss competition in season 5. “I swore I would never be there again, be here again. I couldn’t imagine a day again that I would weigh over 200 pounds. I feel ashamed. I feel embarrassed. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like a failure.”

The 5-foot-5 brunette,  who started at 234 pounds and weighed 122 on the finale,  continued: “I’ve decided to finally feel proud of myself again! To hell with shame! I’ve been so afraid and worried of public shame and ridicule that I’ve created more pain for myself than anyone else can but not anymore.”

But Vincent is struggling with more than just weight. In a Thursday morning Facebook update, the 41-year-old — wed to firefighter Jennifer Krusing — revealed she is undergoing IVF treatments. “Well today we found out that our embryos that we thought, based on our Dr.’s professional opinion, were ‘beautiful' and on track with the highest of chances, were not fit to be implanted. I wanted to disappear, retreat, eat, stuff myself, sleep, not feel.  Anything but think about the possibility of not ever being able to be a mom.” She added: “Through this process, I have thought about the years that maybe I gave away. My 30’s. But I also know that I wasn’t ready until now. … But it’s hard. “

In 2009, Vincent penned Believe It, Be It about her weight-loss journey.

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