There’s a good reason Karen Johnson’s latest Facebook post about mom-shaming has been shared more than 310,000 times and received nearly 500,000 likes in less than 24 hours: It’s absolutely brilliant.
“Girlfriends, I got to get something off my chest,” the Missouri-based parenting blogger began on Wednesday, July 19. “My house is never clean. Like ever. I have friends (with kids) whose houses are spotless. Are they better mothers than me? Nope. Am I a better mother than them? Nope.”
Johnson, who has three kids ranging in age from 4 to 8, went on to admit she has the occasional beer or glass of wine in front of her children and that sometimes she feeds them popsicles for breakfast. Not the organic kind: “The cheap kind that are 50 for $2.00,” she wrote, noting that that does not make her a bad mom.
“I have a friend who gave birth in a pool in her living room. I pushed mine out in a hospital bed after receiving a gift from the epidural fairy. Both of us are good moms,” Johnson wrote. “I’m a yeller. I have a good friend who is quiet and extremely patient. I envy her. But we are both good moms.”
She continues: “Are stay-at-home moms better than working moms? NO. Are working moms better than stay at-home moms? No. Are married moms better than single moms? NO. Are you a better mom if you can take your kids on exotic vacations? NO. Can you be a good mom if the closest thing you can get to a vacation is the park? YES.”
In her post, Johnson noted that good moms let their kids watch TV and play video games. Also fine? If you don’t want your kids having any screen time.
Johnson signed off with a powerful message calling for an end to the mommy wars. “So how about this? Can we all climb down off judgmental mountain for a second? And Just support one another?” she wrote. “And just say, Hey, motherhood is hard. You’re doing a good job. Raising kids can knock the wind out of a person. You got this. How awesome would that be? Just a thought.”
Her post resonated with women everywhere. “Love this. I struggle with feeling like a failure at this mom thing because I compare myself to others,” wrote one. Another chimed in: “I constantly struggle to keep a decent house but I swear it never stays clean. Sometimes I think I'm not trying enough and I feel so small and worthless when I go to my sister or sister-in-laws. Thanks for the insight!”
Johnson, who blogs for The 21st Century SAHM, is fed up with people calling each other out for their parenting choices. “I have been judged when my toddler had a pacifier at Target or when my kids misbehaved in public,” she tells Us Weekly. “And my friends who fed their babies formula were put through the ringer, which really upset me.”
And she’s also been targeted by online trolls. “I have been blasted for having a glass of wine, I have been accused of being a helicopter parent — but also not watching my kids enough and having a messy house,” Johnson tells Us. “We already doubt ourselves enough. So how about we help build each other up? I think we all just want to hear that we’re doing a good job.”
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