Octomom: I "Live in Guilt" for Having All These Kids
Credit: Nancy Pastor/Polaris
Though she has no regrets, Nadya "Octomom" Suleman said she lives with a "tremendous amount of guilt" for giving birth to eight babies last year as an unemployed single mother of six.
Appearing via satellite on Tuesday's Oprah Winfrey Show, Suleman, 34, said she had so many children out of her "own childish desires to compensate."
Raised an only child, she said she may have been "trying to fill some missing piece inside."
Instead of filling the void with a significant other, she filled it with her children: Elijah, 8; Amerah, 7; Joshua, 6, Aiden, 5 (who's autistic); twins Caleb and Calyssa, 3; and the 14-month octuplets, Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariyah, Makai, Josiah, Jeremiah and Jonah.
"Looking back, I've always coveted that connection, that attachment to another being. And the connection felt safer with children than with a significant other, more predictable," said Suleman. "The security — I was hungering for the security."
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She said she and her kids -- who are no longer on food stamps -- now rely on media appearances for money.
"We're surviving," she said. "We're so busy going, going, going, moving, moving, moving, trying to keep up that you don't have time to think, to reflect, to feel anything. And it is a choice. I own all of the responsibility for my poor choices in the past.
"Do I regret [it]?" she then asked. "You can't regret children. But the choices were childish. They were immature. They were selfish. Are we defined by our choices? Our behavior? Our actions? No. I don't believe that defines our worth. "I feel as though I wasn't thinking at that time," she continued. "If I could go back, would I make different choices? Maybe. At this point, I know and I need to teach my children that we need to learn, we need to grow, we need to keep on growing and transcending, and we need to make the best possible choices. And when we make poor choices, all you can do is really, really learn from that and grow from that. Try not to repeat it."
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Contradicting an earlier statement she said on The View, Suleman insisted more kids are out of the question (even if she winds up meeting Mr. Right).
"At this point in my life, that is the furthest thing that I would ever even imagine," she said. "I cannot grow additional eyes or hands. I'm not an octopus. I can barely give them — nobody could, not two people, not four people even could give them — all the emotional, psychological and physical needs. You can't possibly.
"I live every single day every hour of the day with a tremendous amount of guilt," she went on. "And I feel guilty when I hold the one or two and then that I can't be there for the others. And they're crying. And then I feel guilty. Look at the older ones. They all have different unique needs. And I'll live with this forever. But all I can do now is keep on going, keep moving. Keep on trying to be the most devoted mother I can be."
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No matter how hard things get, Suleman said she will never give up any of the kids.
"I will do anything in my power to secure what I need to, on my own, without exploiting my children, to secure revenue so I can provide that," she said. "I know that sounds selfish, but I breathe for my children. I wake up for my children. I will do anything to secure the revenue on my own to provide for these kids."
Tell Us What You Think
75Going on Oprah only clarified things for me! it's true, she's crazy, insane, psycho, weird, and just all around a hot mess!!!! ugh! If she only knew how she made herself look!?
Well YOU have them now so JUST LOVE THEM and BE HAPPY!
If she was so morally depraved she'd have a reality show or do a porn movie. She's kind of nuts, but I think reality is sinking in. If the father knows his kids are living like this, how can he do nothing? Then again, I can't understand how someone could donate all those sperm and not care that they will probably never know what conditions their children are living in, but that's just me. Of course she's telling half truths- if she's so devoted to supporting her kids, why the botoxed forehead, tummy tuck and the lip injections? Especially when she has some that are special needs and one with a hairlip who will need surgery? . If she wrote an autobiography, I would read it. It would be fascinating if she told the real truth about her life, but I don't think she ever will. Anyway what's done is done. She and her children need our prayers.
Yes, your choices were selfish and you're a sick woman !! Poor children, they are the ones who will suffer.
stupid wanna be angelina jolie b*tch
And on the next episode of Dancing with the Stars...
ANOTHER one we reacted to and gave space for claims to fame. Funny she feels guilty??? What happen the checks stopped rolling in by the truck load!!! These moms - KATE & her NEVER thought about anyone but themselves!!
this whole situation makes me want to vomit. i feel so awful for those poor, innocent children. I hope they are getting the love, attention, and support they deserve.
She misused her financial aid to get knocked up. That money could have gone to an actual student.
I don't think she's feeling guilty; I believe she's feeling short of $$. However, me she knew what was going to happen. No one can be that dumb; she just ignored the facts. Having six kids she knew what was going to happen if she didn't have enough resources for their/her needs. I believe she should just stay in welfare which I believe should be giving her enough to support all those children; however, I do feel sorry for the children who do not know who their father is; she decided that for them. Selfish are we??
She's not sure???? Stupid cow should have think about it before! Again fame crazy nobody who will stop at nothing to get there...unfortunately she is a NOBODY
At least she isn't on dancing with the stars.
Seriously, I cannot stand this woman. She is seeking a handout and fame, nothing more, nothing less. You have six children, you are not working, on welfare and decide to go get implanted with 11 embryos. Yeah sorry I do not feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for those children who she cannot support in every sense of the word. I have three children and you will never see me making starbucks runs without them or at the gym at midnight. Please, it's obvious she wants fame in the worse way. She was probably expecting a bunch of freebies and a show. All is she seeking is a handout by giving this sob story. I hope magazines do not keep putting her on the cover or give her a dime. Also, if you have a "back injury" why on earth would you have so many pregnancies so close together? Let alone carry eight babies! Fraud.
It is one thing for Nadya Suleman to lie her way from one end of Oprah's show to the other. It is another for Oprah to let it happen. All you do-gooders needed bone up on some facts. She did not accidentally get pregnant. This went on over TEN YEARS where she deliberately did this to her children through 11 expensive in vitros at $15,000 each time. . The last one was so dangerous her own doctor made her sign a waiver because it might kill all or maim some of those babies or Nadya herself. She insisted on having eleven embryos implanted n her anyway. She keeps saying she was using up frozen embryos. Nadya Suleman has NEVER once been implanted with a frozen embryo. That's not my opinion-- those are all facts cited from the California Medical Board report. She told her own publicist she did whatever it took to get famous. She sits there and lies to Ann Curry and Barbara Walters and now Oprah. And no one bothers to fact check. What I found most disturbing is that this makes me start wondering about other things I have seen on Oprah. If no one checks this for the truth when they are such easily checkable outright lies that could have resulted in the death of children, why should I believe anything I have ever seen on Oprah? Most seriously is Oprah's commitment to responsibility and single parenting. If Oprah does not look into the kind of man who would do this systematically to his own kids over TEN YEARS, then what sort of commitment is that really? If as rumored he's a doctor doesn't that make him even more culpable of child abuse? Why is Oprah protecting him?
One thing we all agree on....Nadya should be home and take care of her kids. ****Or give them up to loving homes if she doesn't really want to do that. ****However, many of us prefer that she use welfare programs (as much as this disgusts us) rather than keep her sorry self in the public view. ****Many of us do NOT want to see her....we just do NOT like her or what she stands for....doing a crazy, cruel stunt to produce a lot of kids to make Nadya rich and famous! ****Like the Balloon Boy Parents, it backfired
Still dragging out the same old lies, no matter what the truth is. (Her own doctor said she has fresh embryos implanted, NOT frozen!) ***Now she is going for sympathy by trying to humble herself. ***Bet she would NOT claim to feel guilty IF her nasty scheme for fame and fortune had worked! ***A woman on worker's compensation for a bad back does NOT have SIX back to back deliberate pregnancies ending in an OCTUPLET pregnancy. ***A real mother does NOT burn through a LOT of money in one year on herself and then beg for handouts by pretending to be sorry. ***Her bigger breasts are RECENT. ***Some of us do NOT buy her lousy acting!
Old mother hubbard lived in a shoe. Had so many kids she did not know what to do. IDIOT!
Nadya i wish you all the best. Stay strong and don't let no one get you down. Try to take care of your children the best way possible, that's all you can do, Honey. Stay positive!!!
It's obvious the only thing she regrets is that she didn't turn in to the media darling she hoped she'd be. She's a disgusting piece of trash and she's letting those kids turn into hellions! Watch out California Penal System...you've got lots of new criminals headed your way!
Too little too late. I guess she isn't making the millions she had hoped on. She is trash and will have a tribe of little trash.