Just days after Bethenny Frankel filed for divorce from Jason Hoppy, the Skinnygirl mogul made her first television appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show Jan. 9.
"Do I want to be doing this exact thing right now? No, but I can't just only be on reality TV and show everything when it's fairy princess, fairy tale and then not take my hits when I have to," Frankel, 40, explained. "I've kind of had the best worst year ever."
Addressing the studio audience and the TV viewers, Frankel said, "I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you. And I feel like a failure."
Ellen DeGeneres, 54, tried to comfort the single-again star. "You are not a disappointment," the host told Frankel. "You are not a failure. You are not."
"I feel like a failure," lamented Frankel, who wed Hoppy in a televised ceremony in 2010. "I really put it out there. I wanted the fairytale. I thought I had it. And [my 2-year-old daughter] Bryn is my fairy tale."
"This is excruciating, I have to say," she continued.
Frankel announced her split with pharmaceutical sales exec Hoppy, 41, on Dec. 23, 2012. "The truth is, I wanted to rip the Band-Aid off so it could start to heal. This will obviously be better," the former Real Housewives of New York City star explained. "I'm scared of the unknown future. You know everything, and one day you don't know. So I'm scared. I'm older."
She added, "I never thought I'd be a role model, but I think to some people I am, or have been. So this is an important time because it's about what I do next. How I handle myself now with grace, with dignity. This is the time now that matters."
When Frankel filed for divorce, she asked for primary custody of Bryn, as well as child support. "She doesn't want to drag it out," a source reveals in the Jan. 21 issue of Us Weekly (on newsstands Friday).
A second insider says Hoppy -- who is still living with Frankel in their $5 million, four-bedroom condo in New York City's Tribeca neighborhood -- "plans to ask her for a big payout," despite an ironclad prenup. "He feels used," the insider explains.
For more details on Frankel's $100 million divorce -- including how this will affect her upcoming talk show -- pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on sale Friday!