Celebrities get a lot of perks, but when it comes to childbirth, they seem to be on level ground with the rest of us.
Dax Shepard appeared on Thursday's Ellen DeGeneres Show and talked about his wife Kristen Bell's extremely difficult, 33-hour labor with their second daughter, Delta, who was born Dec. 19, and how it resulted in a C-section. Needless to say, it was difficult for the House of Lies actress, 34, but the Parenthood actor, 40, also seemed pretty traumatized by the whole thing.
"This was Fallujah," said the funnyman. "This was intense."
While Bell's first labor with Lincoln lasted 15 hours, there was no end in sight after twice that amount of time with baby number two, so the blonde was prepped for a cesarean section.
"I had been warned by a lot of different gentlemen — and even my own mother — that you might not want to watch the baby come out [during a natural delivery]," said TV star. "What they didn't warn me about was the C-section, which was way worse. There's a sheet and they go, 'The baby’s here,' and you peek around the sheet and they're lifting out the baby. But then you notice your wife is completely disassembled! I can see inside of her."
He continued: "I was like: 'It's a girl! Your liver's out! And those are definitely intestines! Are you alright?! Oh my God! Put her back together correctly.' After seeing this autopsy, I would rather see a school bus drive out of her vagina. There's isn’t anything worse than seeing your partner fully open. Guys, I need medication if this happens again."
Mother and baby are both fine — in fact, Bell and Shepard hit the red carpet last week — and they're adjusting to being a family of four. Lincoln, who will be 2 in March, may be the one going through the biggest adjustment phase.
"We're all eating dinner and my mom goes, "Guys! Guys! Guys!" We look over and Lincoln has some rocks that she loves ... and she’s throwing them in the baby’s bassinet to 'share,'" he recalled. "They’re big rocks. And, again, [Delta] is about the size of my thumbnail. There were no injuries, but that got our attention… Sharing is not caring always. They say it is, but sometimes it's almost murder."
As for baby Delta's name selection, it was actually jokingly suggested by one of Shepard's friends who was making fun of Lincoln being such a masculine name.
"A friend of mine teasingly texted me, 'Oh, great. What's this one gonna be? Navy Seal, Delta Force, Green Beret?'" Shepard said. "I was reading this text out loud to Kristen, and I said, 'Oh, Steve said, "What if we named her Delta?" Delta! Delta Bell Shepard! That's it!' And that's it!"