Ellen DeGeneres has a special way of crushing her haters with humor.
The 56-year-old talk show host took time during Wednesday's monologue to address comments about her in a Christian Post column entitled, "Are You Aware of the Avalanche of Gay Programming Assaulting Your Home?" that was penned by conservative pastor and author Larry Tomczak. In the article, Tomcazk railed against Hollywood's gay agenda and said that The Ellen DeGeneres Show "celebrates her lesbianism and 'marriage' in between appearances of guests like Taylor Swift to attract young girls."
"OK, let's just break this down. First of all, I'm not 'married,'" said Portia de Rossi's wife of six years. "I'm married. That's all."
DeGeneres continued, "Larry, I don’t even know what it means to celebrate my lesbianism. I mean, well, I guess I do, it's like that!" she said, removing a party popper from her blazer pocket and setting it off. "I'm gay!"
She ended on a more serious note, denying that she was trying to influence children in a negative way.
"Larry, the only way I’m trying to influence people is to be more kind and compassionate with one another," she said. "That is the message that I’m sending out. I don't have an agenda. I'm not here to brainwash anyone. But…"
With that, her stage manager handed her a spinning vortex and, holding it up to the camera, she added, "Listen to the sound of my voice. Attention youth of the world: I want you to live your lives being exactly who you are. Be true to yourself. The most important thing is to be true to yourself."
DeGeneres, 1, Tomczak, 0.