Justin Bieber, 16: "I Autograph Lady Lumps"
Justin Bieber is a diva -- on April Fools' Day, at least.
"I'm a star. I do what stars do," the 16-year-old pop star boasts on Funny or Die, which he quips he bought and changed to "Bieber or Die."
VIDEO: Watch Justin's goofy Funny or Die clip
"I ride on yachts, I autograph lady lumps and I pay people to slap them," Bieber declares.
"Sometimes I don't feel like walking, so I make enormous people carry me around!" he says as the camera pans out to him getting a piggy back ride on a security guard's back as he barks, "Let's go get a lollipop!"
PHOTOS: Teen stars who grew up fast!
Bieber isn't the only star getting in on the joke.
Coldplay announced Thursday it would start its own fragrance, Angst.
"This is something we've wanted to do for a long time," says the band's frontman, Chris Martin. "People like to smell nice and we thought we could help them out."
The scent -- made from fairtrade suppliers of sangre, sudor and lagrimas -- retails for $63 and appears to be "sold out" on the band's official Web site.
Bachelorette Jillian Harris (who is engaged to Ed Swiderski) joked on Twitter, "Eddie & I are expecting a little one, AND we've set a date! WOW!"
Tori Spelling Twittered, "Big News... I'm PREGGERS!...Gotcha. Happy April Fool's Day!"