Credit: Gregg DeGuire/

Is the breakup of Melissa and Tammy Etheridge turning into a "she said, she said" situation?

On The Oprah Winfrey Show Friday, singer Melissa, 45, spoke diplomatically about her separation -- announced last week -- from actress Tammy, 35 (formerly known as Tammy Lynn Michaels).

The Grammy winner called the end of their nine-year partnership "sad" and "as mutual as those things can be." But she told Oprah Winfrey "it's certainly not even fair of me to stand here and tell my story when Tammy doesn't have an opportunity." Nevertheless, she called the actress "a wonderful woman and an incredible mother," to their three-year-old twins. "We want to do all the things that are best to keep our children healthy and secure."

The breast cancer survivor added that life is "about evolving...I'm no good to anyone else unless I'm completely in love with myself and good with myself."

Yet Tammy painted a different picture in an entry on her personal blog, "Hollywood Farm Girl" posted the same day as Melissa's Oprah appearance, implying that her ex is being dishonest. "This [blog] will be the only place where you will get the truth," she writes in her poetically-styled entry. "Hollywood Farm Girl is the only one who gets it right, who won't spin, won't lie won't act like there was drifting."

In a February blog post that has since been deleted, the actress wrote of being "blindsided" and "missing a piece of me that is so large."

The couple announced their separation -- after nearly nine years together -- last week. They exchanged marital vows in September 2003. Using an anonymous sperm donor, Tammy gave birth to their twins -- son Miller and daughter Rose -- in October 2006. (Etheridge has two older children with former partner Julie Cypher; their father is musician David Crosby.)