Peaches Geldof's sudden death at age 25 was -- and still is -- a devastating shock to her family and friends, especially in light of how happy she said she was before her passing on April 7. Earlier this year, the young mom-of-two joined the U.K.'s Mother & Baby magazine as a parenting columnist; now, as a tribute to the late star and with the "blessing of her family," the publication has released her final, haunting column.
The essay, posted to Mother & Baby's website on April 8, focuses on Geldof's sons, Astala, 23 months, and Phaedra, nearly 12 months, and how they rescued her from what she called "a life of wanton wanderlust," a "haze of youth and no responsibilities."
"I wanted an anchor -- I craved it," the reformed party girl wrote. "And, when I had two wailing, smiling, joyful little blobs of waddling pink flesh, they became my entire existence, and saved me from one of pure apathy."
The one drawback, Geldof continued, was that she found herself suddenly "friendless," as "fair-weather" pals fell out of her life once she was unable to go out for "wine-soaked" dinners. "I felt alienated and abandoned," she wrote. "Had I made a mistake?"
The answer, she soon realized, was a resounding no. "One day, Astala came running in to me in bed carrying a drawing he had done. Phaedra crawled adoringly behind him, felt tip all over his face," she recalled. "Astala proudly announced 'Narny (what he calls himself) draw Mama. Narny love Mama.'"
The drawing was so "heartbreakingly sweet," Geldof wrote, that she teared up. "Phaedy gave me a wet kiss, and both collapsed giggling into my arms, looking at me with pure love," she went on. "In that magic moment, all my doubts were erased. Everything else was nothingness and it just...didn't matter. I had the perfect life -- two beautiful babies who loved me more than anything. It was, and is, bliss."
Geldof concluded the column by proclaiming that she was "happier than ever" with her new life. "I've achieved a sort of perfect balance," she wrote. "Right now life is good. And being a mum is the best part of it."
Read the full column at Mother & Baby's website.