Not everything in Darrell Hammond's life is a laughing matter.
The 56-year-old comic, who appeared on Saturday Night Live from 1995 to 2009, opens up about his decades-long struggle with drug and alcohol abuse in his new memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F-cked (out November 8).
"I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work," he writes of his days on SNL, as excerpted by The New York Post's Page Six. "The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images that sprang into my head...when drinking didn't work, I cut myself."
Four years later, Hammond "started adding an obscene amount of cocaine to my binges. I had to be creative about how I did it without other people catching on or letting it interfere with the work. At least too much."
Despite a stint in rehab, Hammond's life continued to spiral out of control. In 2009, during his 14th season on SNL, the funnyman "had the brilliant idea I should try crack." Following his relapse, Hammond spent time in a Harlem crack house.
Hammond eventually got sober through months of treatment, and he's eager to see what his former castmates think of the tome. "I don't have anything bad to say about anyone there," he tells Page Six. "They all really went above and beyond the call for me."