The Bachelor in Paradise crew continued to reel from Jared asking Clare on his one-on-one during the show's Monday, Aug. 10, episode. Mikey, still stinging from Clare accepting Jared's date request without so much as a glance his way, let loose, calling Clare Jared's "sugar mama" and vowing that he would never date any woman eight years older than him.
"That would mean I'd be dating a 40-year-old right now, are you kidding me? I'd rather jerk off every night," the contestant said. He then declared the former object of his affection to be an ancient memory — but he may have spoken a bit too soon on that one.
Smooth Sailing for Jared and Clare Turns to Rocky Waters
Jared and Clare enjoyed a pristine sailing date, went bungee jumping, and shared a passionate kiss. "That sealed the deal for me," Clare chimed with a beaming smile.
Back on the beach, Ashley I. vowed to not lose Jared to Clare. She seemed less convinced of her ability to keep him to herself, however, when Clare returned with tales of their bungee jumping and tonsil hockey.
"I'm going to f—ing kill someone," Ashley I. cried to the camera. But she may have freaked out over nothing, because it turned out Jared wasn't really into Clare after all.
Upon returning from their date, Jared described Clare as "spunky" but showed a lack of passion for the bubbly blonde. And then things went from bad to worse for hopeful Clare when Jared told her, straight up, that their age difference was a concern. "You need that spark. You need those butterflies," he said. In summary, he didn't have them with her.
Michael G. Arrives — for Tenley
Just when it seemed love couldn't get any more complicated in Paradise, Michael G. showed up, declaring his intentions to date Tenley. "Her name is Tenley, but she's an Elevenly," he mused to the camera with a smile, clearly pleased with his rhyme.
Much to Joshua's dismay, Michael G. took his date card and headed straight for Miss Elevenly. "The only person I want to go on the date with me is you," he said to Tenley, who giddily accepted. Their date involved a romantic dinner in the middle of a pool, dancing to the tunes of a large mariachi band, and a kiss.
"Tenley is such a positive person. She always has a smile on her face and she is one of those people who makes you feel good to just be in her presence," he gushed to the camera.
For her part, Tenley said, "He is super-special, and the way that he looks at me and his feelings for me that he is putting out there — I don’t think that I have ever known a guy like that before." Clearly thrilled to find herself with so many active suitors, she added, "I'm in trouble with this rose ceremony tomorrow!"
Suspicions About Joe Grow
Though Juelia was still basking in the afterglow of her one-on-one with Joe, others weren't convinced he had any real feelings for her. Ashely S. noted that Joe had been "avoiding" Juelia since their return. "That is not love. That is a pomegranate, man, hanging from an ugly tree!" It was a weird metaphor, but it wasn't totally inaccurate.
Realizing he might be going home if he didn't take action, Jonathan pulled Juelia aside to try to reason with her about Joe. "To be honest with you, I don't necessarily think he is here for you and for the right reason," Jonathan argued before adding, "The bond we've made is strong, even if it's not a romantic connection." It was refreshing that he didn't try to convince her that they were possibly a love match — but his move was a risky one, as Juelia admitted she wasn't "sure what to believe" after their chat.
For what it's worth, Mikey also told Juelia that Joe wasn’t feeling it with her and made a plea for her to keep him around instead. "I honestly feel like you have way better options," he said while pointing aggressively at himself.
Juelia Confronts Joe
Shaken enough out of the fantasy land she was living in (the one in which Joe actually liked her), Juelia confronted him about ignoring her.
"I didn't want to smother you," he said trying his best to sound sincere. "I was nervous and I didn't want to say anything to ruin what we had." When she continued to question his intentions, he made out with her — and it seemed that Juelia bought it.
Joe then confessed to the camera, "I give zero f—s right now. I'm just like, 'Give me that rose.'" He continued, "I'm doing whatever it takes to get to the next level. I came in hoping, fingers crossed, that Samantha [from Chris Soules's season] was here. Samantha isn't here, so I have to make the best of the situation."
Joe Confronts Mikey and Jonathan
Joe then headed off to confront Mikey and Jonathan for talking to Juelia. "I promise you one thing, I do like the girl and I'm not just screwing around to get a rose," Joe told Mikey. "It would be a totally different situation if I was talking to three or four girls asking for their rose, kind of like what you've done." Though they parted ways amicably, neither one bought the other's side of the story.
"It was really difficult for me to not put my fist in Mikey's face," Joe said to the camera. "Hashtag #JoeMadeHimHisBitch." For what it's worth, Mikey clearly didn't believe Joe.
But when Joe told Jonathan he was "hurt" by what he'd said to Juelia, Jonathan folded like a house of cards. "I got caught up in this f—ing game that we have to play in this type of situation and I truly apologize for that," he said, even going so far as to apologize to Juelia in front of Joe!
"Juelia, I'm a f—ing a–hole. I got caught up in the game aspect of this," Jonathan said. "I was scared because of the fact that there is a good chance that I'm going to go hom." Juelia and Joe both ate up his every word because it was exactly what they wanted to hear (but for very different reasons). Jonathan concluded by saying he was "ashamed" of himself.
Joe then reiterated to the camera, "If I don't get a rose tonight I would be devastated and honestly believe that I truly missed out on an opportunity — to meet Samantha." And, just like that, Joe became the newest villain in Paradise.
Clare Goes Off the Deep End
Fresh off the news that Jared really wasn't into her, Clare started freaking out about the fact that she didn't feel a romantic connection with anyone (or at least, not with anyone who felt it back with her) and basically told off the rest of her castmates, passive-aggressively accusing them for not being there for love.
"This is amazing! Clare is losing her mind!" Ashley I. cheered. "It's like, 'Could everything work out more perfectly?'" In contrast to Clare, Ashley I. was on quite a high since Jared finally kissed her and fed her some lines about how much "chemistry" they have. Sigh.
The Second Rose Ceremony Begins
The second rose ceremony kicked off with Tenley (who had been struggling to chose between Joshua, JJ, and Michael G.) picking Joshua. After this semi-surprising choice, the three "power couples" were solidified, with Carly giving her rose to Kirk, Ashley S. giving her rose to Dan, and Jade giving her rose to Tanner.
That's when Clare stormed off — and the episode ended before revealing whether she decided to pick anyone at all or just go home.
Tell Us: What do you think Clare is going to do?
