Can this tour survive?
As reported late Saturday, Charlie Sheen's debut performance of his sold out My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option tour in Detroit proved to be an epic fail.
What went wrong? 5,000 pumped-up fans filled up the Fox Theater for the sold-out show, which was scheduled to begin at 8 p.m. What followed was a confusing, unscripted, un-rehearsed and very un-funny mess.
Things began badly with Sheen's opening act -- a comedian who was quickly booed. Sheen himself popped on stage to settle the crowd, who gave him a standing ovation. At last, the main event began at 9, with a montage of violent film clips and a live rendition of the National Anthem as sung by two porn stars.
Sheen re-emerged with his famous "goddesses" (who made out onstage), and quickly burned his Two and a Half Men bowling shirt. (Although the tour was inspired by his battle with the network, studios and creator behind his CBS smash, Sheen never once mentioned his adversaries by name during the show.)
Donning a Detroit Tigers baseball jersey stamped "Warlock" on the back, Sheen's incoherent ranting began: In a nonsensical tirade, the former sitcom star rambled about his "bleeding napalm heart" and slammed "feeble nabobs" and "bankrupt carnivals."
Restless, the audience began booing; some yelled "You suck!" and "We want Emilio [Estevez, his brother]."
Sheen's potty-mouthed retort: "I already got your f***ing money dude!"
The program continued with clips of Sheen's recent media blitz, his war with CBS and an unseen old movie with a young Johnny Depp. Clearly frustrated with how the show was going, Sheen sat down and embarked upon an audience Q&A session.
"Want to hear stories about crack? Who's done crack?" Sheen asked.
As boos continued to drown out Sheen, the crowd began departing the Fox Theater.
Additional, mostly spoofy clips were played as the remaining audience members -- and Sheen -- grew more and more agitated. Sheen attempted to read a letter from one of the goddesses and told one fan to "shut the f*** up."
Sheen finally stormed off the stage for good after less than an hour of his disastrous show. Rapper Simon Rexx performed a rap as the crowd continued to disperse.
By 10:15, as a Snoop Dogg video called "Winning" played, the house lights were turned on, and the audience remained in a massive uproar.
Sheen is scheduled to perform in Chicago on Sunday night; the 20-city tour