The gloves are off!
Conan O'Brien finally took aim at Jay Leno, whom he is battling with over the 11:35 p.m. late-night time slot.
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"Hosting The Tonight Show has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me -- and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too," said O'Brien, 46, during Wednesday night's opening monologue.
O'Brien also joked that he could end up working at Starbucks if NBC bumps his show back to 12:05, a plan he called the "destruction" of the "greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting."
"Hi, I’m Conan O’Brien, and I’ve been practicing the phrase, 'Who ordered the mochaccino grande?' he quipped.
O'Brien didn't stop there.
"According to a new TV Guide poll, 83 percent of voters want me to stay at 11:35. When he heard this poll number, President Obama asked, “How can I get NBC to screw me over?'" he added.
Meanwhile, Leno, 59, compared the network to the Gosselin family during his Wednesday night monologue.
"Welcome to NBC. America's most dysfunctional TV family. Thank you very much," he joked. "You thought the Gosselins were screwed up. Oh my god!
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Continued Leno, "Conan O'Brien, understandably, is very upset. He had a statement in the paper yesterday. Conan said NBC has only given him seven months to make his show work. When I heard that... seven months! How did he get that deal. We only got four! Who's his agent? Get me that guy. I'll take seven."