Conan Takes Swipe at NBC During Opening Monologue

Entertainment Nov. 9, 2010 AT 8:56AM
Conan Takes Swipe at NBC During Opening Monologue Credit: Steve Granitz/

Did you miss Conan O'Brien's return to TBS?

If so, check out his opening monologue (courtesy of USA Today), below:

"Thank you. Thank you and welcome to my 2nd annual first show.

"Yes, I know what you guys are thinking, 'Hey, it's the guy from Twitter.'

"Welcome to my new show, Conan. People ask me why I named the show "Conan." I did it so I'd be harder to replace.

"This is an exciting night. I'm glad to be on cable. The truth is, I've dreamed of being a talk show host on basic cable ever since I was 46.

"And things are going well already. I'm happy to report that we're already #1 in TBS's key demographic --- people who can't afford HBO.

"I'm going to be honest: It's not easy doing a late-night show on a channel without a lot of money and that viewers have trouble finding. So that's why I left NBC.

"But the weird thing is this: I put myself and my staff through a lot because I refused to go on at midnight. So I get this job at eleven. Then, yesterday, Daylight Savings Time ended --- so right now it's basically midnight. In fact, it's 12:05.

"A lot's happened in the news since I went off the air --- and I was hoping I could cover it all in one joke. But then I realized that's like trying to keep an Icelandic volcano from wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress while a trapped Chilean miner cleans up the BP oil spill…Brett Favre's penis."

Tell Us: Will you keep watching Conan?

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