It's no wonder why HBO's Girls just won two Golden Globe Awards: the hit series, starring creator Lena Dunham, featured even more laugh-out-loud and cringe-worthy moments in its season 2 premiere Jan. 13.
The episode, titled "It's About Time," kicks off with Hannah Horvath (Dunham) spooning with her bisexual ex-boyfriend and new roommate, Elijah Krantz (Andrew Rannells). "I'm sorry I have a boner," Elijah tells her. "It's not for you."
After losing her virginity to Ray Ploshansky (Alex Karpovsky) in season 1, the bubbly Shoshanna Shapiro (Zosia Mamet) is first seen cleansing her apartment with incense. "I thank the higher powers for all of the gifts that I have already received -- like a keen mathematical mind and fairly fast-growing hair -- and I ask the universe to present me with my path and to ruin Ray's life," she chants. (The two haven't spoken since doing the deed.)
Cut to Marnie Michaels (Allison Williams), who quickly loses her job at the art gallery due to downsizing. Her boss -- who chose not to fire Marnie's male co-worker because she once slept with him and he could sue the company -- then asks Marnie for shopping advice. "Let's go in here," she says as they approach a store in New York City's West Village. "They have pants made of scuba material and I want you to tell me if they make me look crazy."
Meanwhile, Hannah is hooking up with a new flame, a Republican college student named Sandy (Community's Donald Glover). After playfully chasing each other in a bookstore, Glover's character tells Hannah, "It's really hard to run with a boner."
"I love how weird you are," Sandy tells Hannah. "Please don't say 'love' to me," she protests, prompting a discussion about her on-and-off love, Adam Sackler (Adam Driver). Hannah admits to feeling guilty about hooking up with Sandy because of Adam's recent injury, but she doesn't want to tell him "until he's capable of wiping himself."
Later that day, Hannah watches Bye Bye Birdie with Adam in bed. When she asks how he's feeling, he coldly replies, "Like I got hit by a f-cking truck -- which I did." After some perverse talk about their sexual exploits, Hannah tells Adam, "You're not being that nice to me. So I don't really understand why you want to have me around."
To Hannah's surprise, Adam subtly reveals how much he cares for her: "Well, when you love someone you don't have to be nice all the time." She ends up staying the night and tries to escape unnoticed in the morning, to no avail. After accidentally waking Adam up, she then helps him urinate in a pot, as he is unable to stand due to his injury. (He was hit by a car in the season 1 finale.)
After Marnie meets her mother (Rita Wilson) for lunch, she heads to her ex-roommate Hannah's apartment party. She spots her ex, Charlie Dattolo (Christopher Abbott), doting on his new girlfriend Audrey, prompting the unemployed twentysomething to hide out in Hannah's room. "Are we OK?" she asks her BFF.
"Are you serious?" Hannah replies, before agreeing that they need to make an extra effort to spend more time together. Soon after, Elijah's much-older boyfriend drunkenly makes a fool of himself while singing karaoke in the living room. "You know what? You guys are so f-cking boring," he shouts. "You guys are all too f-cking cool to do one song. F-ck you. What are you looking at, fake lumberjack guy? This is a first grade party full of losers!"
Annoyed, Elijah asks Hannah to escort his boyfriend to the street, and she manages to trick him into leaving. Shoshanna, meanwhile, is seen rummaging through a pile of coats and purses just as Ray shows up. Though she initially attempts to ignore him, Shoshanna eventually gives in when Ray makes a move and kisses her.
(During the episode, Newlyweds Jessa Johansson and Thomas-John (Jemima Kirke and Chris O'Dowd) also return from their honeymoon after getting hitched -- following a two-week courtship -- in the first season finale. "I don't know where we live," Jessa cackles as they hop into a cab.)
Cut to Adam sitting alone in his living room when Hannah walks in with a care package. As she attempts to leave, Adam makes his feelings known: "Hannah, stop. You're the best thing in my life. I don't know how to behave without you. I'd die if you go away."
Back in the apartment, Marnie and Elijah sing Sarah McLachlan's "Building a Mystery" before collapsing on the couch. "I could never be a gay man," Marnie tells him. "I hate anal sex. I assume."
Elijah then clarifies that he's bisexual, he calls Marnie a "little bitch" and kisses her. She slaps him, he repeats himself, and they kiss again. They immediately strip and start having sex. "How am I supposed to get hard if you're rolling your eyes at me?" Elijah tells her.
After her impromptu hookup with Elijah, Marnie shows up at Charlie's apartment. "I just need to sleep next to someone tonight," she says before crawling into his bed, fully-clothed.
Following her her conversation with Adam, Hannah heads to Sandy's place. "Can I borrow The Fountainhead?" she asks of the Ayn Rand classic. "Sure," he replies. "It's in my library." With that, she strips down to her thong and heads to his bed.
Girls airs Sundays at 9 p.m. EST on HBO.