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‘How To Be Single’ Review: Dakota Johnson and Rebel Wilson’s Fierce Comedy Chemistry Can’t Save a ‘Scatterbrained’ Chick Flick

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2.5 stars (out of 4)

How to be the perfect Girls Night Out movie:

1. All the drama must go down in a sparkling big city, preferably Manhattan. Because, let’s face it: Nobody wants to watch pretty people fall in love deep in the Midwest suburbs.

2. There must be a quirky-funny-wise-beyond-her-years bestie on call 24/7 for the confused lead heroine.

3. One montage must be set to a familiar pop song in which said heroine goes on a string of bad dates and/or makes herself over. And she must learn something semi-profound at the end, obvi.

4. At least one guy must be attainable, adorable and charming. Like in a Paul Rudd kind of way. The jerks shall not be rewarded.

5. It must be so sugar-coated and gooey that a typical dude would sooner hit himself over the head with an old DVD of 27 Dresses 100 times than plunk down money in a theater and see it.

The sharp How to Be Single is the newest entry into this under-appreciated genre, and it achieves nearly all of the above prerequisites. (Rom-com fairy godmother Drew Barrymore is a coproducer, after all). Based on Liz Tuccillo's bestseller, this anti-Valentine's Day tale even promises and delivers on the refreshing message that singlehood at all ages should be embraced, not pitied.

But hold the glitter-cased iPhone: Its scatterbrained personality and one-note characters prevent it from an automated selection into the Chick Flick Hall of Fame. Four eye-rolling jokes about a woman’s "landscaping" pretty much disqualify it.

Related: Dakota Johnson and Leslie Mann Shamelessly Hit On Reporter Mid-Interview: Watch!

Exactly one year after Dakota Johnson single-handedly salvaged Fifty Shades of Grey, the actress once again plays a demure, naive college grad unsure of her relationship goals. (No Red Room of Pain here, though). Her Alice has been with her campus sweetie for four years, but she decides to put the romance on pause because she wants to get to know herself better. “I’ve never been alone!” Alice exclaims to her bland soon-to-be-ex. Enter a new job, brash new coworker Robin (Rebel Wilson) and a new apartment. For more emotional support, Alice turns to her older sister Meg (a very winning Leslie Mann), a successful OBGYN who’s totally content that she put her career over children. For now, anyway.

Though Alice claims to be a Sex and the City maven, she walks into the single life on embarrassingly wobbly heels. Robin teaches her how to lure guys into paying for her drinks in a bar— and then encourages her to sleep with the bartender (Anders Holm). Alice does what she’s told, and then the bartender gives her even more rules. For starters, if she wants to stay single, she needs to make sure her fridge is stocked with anti-hangover remedies for the Morning After in order to scare off the other person in the bed from sticking around. Later on, they get drunk and she sleeps with him again. And for most of the film, she still longs for her drip of an ex.

It’s a credit to Johnson’s massive onscreen appeal that you don’t want to smack this long-legged beauty upside the head and tell her to get a grip on reality. 

Besides, you’ll want to save that ire for Alison Brie’s character. In a role that Anne Hathaway would have turned down 10 years ago, she’s a desperate single girl who spends her days and nights in a bar trolling online dating sites in hopes landing the right partner to match her carefully selected algorithm. She dates jerk after jerk, unaware that the friendly neighborhood bartender wants to be her special someone. Yup, this is also Alice's bartender and bedroom paramour. (The clunky ensemble pieces don’t quite fit together). You can smell her neediness from afar.

Related: How Dakota Johnson Kept Her Red Lip From Overwhelming Her Whole Beauty Look

Wilson, as always, is a burst of energy, though her happy-go-lucky Robin has essentially been plucked from Pitch Perfect and renamed. She and Johnson make a fierce comedy duo, and they share a fizzy friendship chemistry. (She also lands a spot-on Friends joke). Their argument about Johnson’s obnoxious flirty behavior marks the only truly authentic moment in the movie. It’s too bad their screen time decreases as the movie progresses. Indeed, a subplot involving Johnson and a still-grieving widowed businessman (Damon Wayans Jr.) is a dead end that belongs in another movie. The film loses even more focus as Mann's maternal instinct kicks in, and she starts seeing a decent younger guy (Jake Lacey). 

So this won’t compete in the Oscars. Fine. Yet the movie shouldn’t be discredited just because it’s a two-drink lightweight. It’s still a pleasure to see a slew of actresses not playing the stock girlfriend — and not all narrowly focused on finding a man. So go out and enjoy. But, at times, don’t be surprised if you’re just not that into it. 

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