Every diss begins with K! On the Sunday, March 12, season 13 premiere of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the focus was on Kourtney Kardashian’s complicated relationship with Scott Disick, the father of her kids. It all culminated in him not being invited to a birthday party, which made predictable waves while the family was otherwise relaxed in Miami.
Kourtney kicked off the episode with Kardashian orbiter Jonathan Cheban by showing up to one of the Dash locations to check out the inventory, only to find that the vibe was “cheesy.” Horrified at how their first business venture had fallen, Kourtney called Kim Kardashian to tell her they needed to update the boutique's offerings ASAP.
During a trip to Miami to see Kanye West perform, Kourtney and Khloé Kardashian looked at the Dash expansion in that city and reminisced about founding it in the glory days of Kourtney and Khloé Take Miami, back when they could jog paparazzi-free on the beach. Khloé used that opportunity to reveal to Kourt that when she and new boyfriend Tristan Thompson went on a vacation to Mexico, she didn’t see any paps, but saw dozens of photos of herself and her new beau when she got home. Scary, right?
Anyway, Dash's Miami location was as stuck in 2009 as New York’s location, so Kim told her sisters that a major department store had placed an offer to put a mini-Dash in all of its locations. Kourtney got sentimental and didn’t want to give up the three individual stores, which led to a massive screaming match. Sisterhood!
In the end, Kourt broke down and explained that the stores had a value to her because they brought the sisters together after the 2003 death of their dad, Robert Kardashian. Kim agreed that this meant something, and decided to compromise by closing the New York store and revamping the other two locations.
What’s the Opposite of Friends With Benefits?
Kourtney’s struggles went beyond a power struggle with her sisters. She and Scott were having a hard time navigating friendship on top of their co-parenting duties. When hanging out with the kids, they made a great team, but in social situations, Scott got obnoxious and Kourt got uncomfortable. As a result, when Kim’s assistant and pal, Steph Shep, had her birthday party, Scott simply didn’t get an invite. When Jonathan questioned that decision, Kourtney demanded to know why the Lord always had to be around, then fumed, “We’re not together!”
During the party, Scott was texting everyone and trying to find out the night’s plans. Kourtney put the info on a strict embargo, making all the attendees super uneasy. The next day was Kanye’s show, and Scott texted Kim to say he wouldn’t be going on account of wanting Kourtney to have fun. Kim made Kourtney call him and tell him he was invited, so they all went together to get blessed by Saint Pablo.
Postblessing (a.k.a. after Kanye's concert), Scott confronted Kourtney about whether their relationship would ever be friendly again. Ultimately, they agreed to leave each other alone from time to time, which seemed to make them both happy and sort of sad.
Tristan? More Like Kiss-tan!
Kourtney and Scott didn’t set the tone for everyone else’s relationships in this episode — don’t worry! Khloé and Tristan were not only very deep into the honeymoon stage, but Khloé was having the time of her life as she refused to confirm the relationship to Kim.
Seriously, Kim bugged her about it as soon as those paparazzi photos went public, and though the Strong Looks Better Naked author confirmed the 'ship to everyone else — even Jonathan — she kept it from Kim for the pure joy of denying her nosy sister the satisfaction of being right.
Khloé surprised everyone by getting tickets for Tristan and some friends to see Kanye’s show in Miami, and then she let Kim officially find out about the relationship when the NBA star showed up in the Magic City. Annoyed as she was that Khloé wouldn’t just tell her about her new boyfriend when she asked, Kim was mostly just happy that her sister had finally found someone.
Tell Us: Do you think Kourt and Scott could ever, ever get back together?
Keeping Up With the Kardashians airs on E! Sundays at 9 p.m. ET.
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