Well, that didn't take long. On the Wednesday, April 13, episode of The Real Housewives of New York City — just one week after the Bravo series' season 8 premiere — the gloves came off, and the real fights began. It was Bethenny Frankel's birthday, but she was a little gun-shy about celebrating, since she has had a rocky history with birthday parties in the past. Instead, she opted to keep things calm and just attend Dorinda Medley's "bra party." Spoiler alert: Her plan backfired.

Treat Yourself, Don't Cheat Yourself

To kick off the celebration of her latest circle 'round the sun, Bethenny headed out to buy herself some bling, but because no girl can go birthday-shopping on her own, Dorinda and Carole Radziwill joined the Skinnygirl founder for the event. As they sipped champagne and tried on jewels, they discussed Bethenny's upcoming "tailgate chic" party at her house in the Hamptons. (For full disclosure, this party would serve as a semi-unofficial birthday bash after all.)

In any case, Dorinda reported that she and her boyfriend, John, would be staying at Ramona Singer's house. Though Ramona hasn't always been John's biggest fan, apparently Dorinda felt comfortable shacking up with her for the weekend. Neither Bethenny nor Carole had much to say about that, but the stage was set for trouble.

Carole's Days Are Numbered … According to Carole

Later, Carole and Bethenny met up, and Carole dished about her much younger boyfriend, Adam (the one who had previously dated Luann de Lesseps' niece). "It's a great relationship," the writer began, before noting the challenges they would face in the future. "He wants kids, and he wants different things in life." She then added, "I told him I only have five good summers left." Huh? What happens after five summers?

Bethenny sort of asked that question, and Carole sort of answered, but not really. "In five years, I will be in a very different place in my life," she reasoned. "So I am careful about how I spend my time."

Then the topic shifted to Luann and the fact that her relationship with Carole was still in a pretty bad spot. "I feel like she should worry more about who she's sleeping with and less about who I'm sleeping with," Carole said. That was all Bethenny needed to hear, since she wasn't a fan of the former countess either.

"When Luann gives you something, it has a string attached to it," Bethenny said to the camera. Carole added, "The thing about Luann is that she thinks she's a really good person, and she's not. I've never seen anyone so completely clueless about who they are."

Meanwhile, Luann met up with Sonja Morgan, where Luann confirmed that the feeling was mutual by saying, "It first was upsetting for me [that Carole was dating Adam] because it upset my family, but that is over for me, and I wish Carole the best." Right.

Dorinda's Bra Party Is More Like a Bra-Burning (Without the Actual Fire)

Before the party began, Ramona spoke with Bethenny about whether she should tell the hostess what her boyfriend had said about her recently. (According to Ramona, John had told a group of people, "I like getting really buzzed at night, and then I pop a lot of Viagra, and then I [do] her for six hours." Ramona made a point of saying that "do" was an edited version of the word he actually used.) They didn't come to a hard and fast agreement about whether she should bring it up, but let's just say it's Ramona, so obviously that wasn't going to just get brushed aside.

Things started out fine, for the most part, as Dorinda, Ramona, Bethenny, Carole and Julianne "Jules" Wainstein arrived. Carole wasn't that excited about a bra party, since her bras were "just for show," and Jules washed her hands in the ice bucket after accidentally touching a shrimp. (She's kosher.) Small talk began about Bethenny's upcoming tailgate party, which Luann had reportedly decided to attend.

"I didn't even invite Luann yet, and she's already RSVP'd," Bethenny said to the camera. "We are friendly, but she never misses the opportunity to do the wrong thing." Sounds like they're super close friends.

In between telling the "bra experts" that they didn't know what they were talking about, Carole and Ramona got into a little tiff about whether Carole had spent enough time with Ramona over the summer. Ultimately, Dorinda argued Ramona was just too uptown for Carole's downtown, and they should remain geographically separate.

Bethenny Calls Out Dorinda

But then Bethenny couldn't resist, and jumped in to tell Dorinda she was uncomfortable when John pitched her a business idea and asked for her phone number when Dorinda wasn't around. Dorinda got extremely defensive, and things only went downhill from there.

"I think it's really not right of you — because, you know what? He's a nice guy. If he crossed over a line, I will have him apologize to you, and I will certainly not [have] him do it again!" Dorinda snapped. Bethenny reiterated her feeling that Dorinda was constantly trying to sell John to the group.

"I chose him — period, done! Like him, don't like him — he's a part of my life," Dorinda shouted. When Bethenny began to respond, Dorinda added, "Guess what, Bethenny Frankel? You're not the word according to God!"

That's when Ramona thought it was the right moment to tell the Viagra story to Dorinda, much to everyone's horror. Dorinda flat-out didn't believe it. "But thank you for jumping on the bandwagon," she barked at Ramona. "As a friend for 20 years, you talk to me about it separately!" Jules was appalled, but Carole agreed (to the cameras, at least) that Dorinda did do a hard sell on John pretty often.

"I've married a person. I buried a person. I pay my own bills … I chose who to be with … You don't like it … I don't give a s--t!" Dorinda screamed. "Back it up, and stop the bulls--t!"

Bethenny blasted back, "You guys get f--ked up beyond repair! You had to be carried out of my house!"

Dorinda then turned back to Ramona and announced that she wasn't going to stay the weekend with John at Ramona's house, which was probably a good call. Jules did her best to get the party back on track and get people to try on bras, but by this point, everyone was as unenthusiastic as Carole about shopping for undergarments.

Tell Us: Do you think Dorinda overreacted?

The Real Housewives of New York City airs on Bravo Wednesdays at 9 p.m. ET.