Holy Moley, Batman! The range of dates that oft-shirtless Sean takes the remaining 13 ladies on during this week's explosive episode of The Bachelor is enough to make any man's head spin, but the cool, collected Dallas native doesn't seem fazed at all.
In fact, the 29-year-old entrepreneur is all about turning up the heat with his first one-on-one date with San Diego real estate developer Selma. Funny, because the voluptuous brunette has been having similar thoughts.
"I really want to take it to the next level, and to the next, and to the next, and then have babies," she giggles during her confessional. The only problem is, of course, that Sean is talking about actual heat. In the California desert. In the middle of nowhere, essentially, where lizards and other warm-weather animals scurry about.
The bachelor takes Selma first by limo, then by private plane and then finally by rugged Jeep to Joshua Tree National Park, where he informs her that they will be scaling a very tall rock formation.
Ultra-glam girl Selma -- who proclaims on national TV that she weighs 110 pounds in a random burst of overshare -- doesn't seem so hot on the idea at first, but eventually comes around when she realizes that the reality show cameras are still trained on her face.
"What kind of shoes do you normally wear?" Sean chuckles as he helps Selma into her harness.
"Six-inch shoes," Selma replies deadpan. Looks like this date will be quite a change of pace, then.
The pair climb the side of the rock formation and as they get higher up, Selma's confidence miraculously gets a boost too.
"I've never been so happy," she tells Sean after they finally reach the top, fluttering her eyelashes. Oh really? Then how about dinner -- not at a fancy hotel or atop a romantic rooftop, but in a faux trailer park lit up with Christmas lights? The 29-year-old politely smiles and bats her mile-long lashes again as the two snuggle down on a makeshift bench.
It's then that the Baghdad-born bachelorette shares her disappointing news with Sean: Because of her family's very conservative Muslim background, she doesn't feel like she can kiss Sean on national television, though she can flirt and cuddle all she likes, apparently. Sean, ever the gentleman, tells Selma that he respects her culture and the two end the night with a few boops on the nose with the rose and plenty of wistful gazing.
At least Sean's next date has plenty of physical action built into it. The bachelor invites Lindsay, Robyn, Jackie, Catherine, Amanda, AshLee, Sarah and Tierra to a group date that turns out to be a no holds barred roller derby match.
"This is going to be so much fun to watch because you're all sweet girls," Sean grins. First beach volleyball, and now roller derby? The man's on a roll with the date ideas!
As expected, the women begin to slip and fall almost immediately, but sly fit model Amanda finds a way to best the other seven girls -- by lying that she's done roller derby before. It works for a second, as Sean marvels at the 26-year-old's skills, but not too soon after, she completely eats it on the hard roller derby floor and possibly breaks her jaw.
The second ambulance in four weeks rushes to her aid and Amanda is down for the count. Add to that the fact that Sarah is having noticeable difficulty maintaining her balance, and Sean, gentleman that he is, decides that he's seen enough bruises for one day. He declares the date a "free skate" instead, and he joins the girls in the rink just as Steve Perry's "Foolish Heart" starts up. Ah, romance.
That night, Sean tries to salvage the group date by spending time with each of his favorite ladies -- starting with Sarah, who impressed him greatly with her courage on the roller rink floor that afternoon. Even Amanda gets a little bit of alone time with the bachelor, though he only gives her a tepid kiss on the chin to make her feel better about her medical emergency.
But it's Tierra, naturally, who insists on making the night about her again just as Sean is about to sneak off to the hot tub with a giggly Lindsay.
"I can't take the fakeness from any of these girls anymore!" she exclaims after getting into a verbal tussle with Robyn. She storms away to find Sean, to tell him that "she's leaving" but instead manages to manipulate him into giving her the rose. She may have also used the word "torture" once or twice to describe the show's dating process. Naturally, the other women are none too pleased.
"She's like a plague of bad energy," Robyn pouts.
Luckily for Leslie H., then, she'll be getting to spend time with Sean solo on his second one-on-one date the next day so there won't be any of that negative energy hanging around. The bubbly poker dealer is super excited about her date with Sean, which comes complete with diamond drop earrings, and she can't stop marveling at the amazingness of it all every two seconds.
"Holy moley do I like them!" she tells Sean when he asks her how she likes the gift as he's picking her up the next day. The date? A shopping spree, a la Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.
"Holey moly, Batman!: she cries when they park on Rodeo drive to kick off their day of fun. But the 29-year-old saves the best outcry for last -- "Winner winner chicken dinner!" she crows when she finally picks out an evening gown from Badgley Mischka.
"It's a girl's dream!" she says excitedly of the date during her confessional. "I am a tan Julia Roberts."
The pair make one more pit stop at Neil Lane's shop to pick up a bling-tastic statement necklace -- with nearly 120 carats of diamonds, the jeweler interjects -- before heading to dinner, where they try to get to know one another over wine and untouched food.
Leslie heartbreakingly tells Sean about her love life thus far and how it's always been terrible being the girl her exes date right before they get married to someone else, and judging by the look in Sean's eye, the bachelor knows he's about to make a tough call. But make it he must, and at the end of the date, he sends Leslie home without a rose. She goes, a bit reluctantly, but not before warning him to watch out for Tierra.
"I want you to find your wife," she says as she gives him a hug. So does Sean, who ends the night by dropping Leslie's would-be rose on the ground dramatically.
The following evening, at the cocktail party, Sean spends some quality time with AshLee, Catherine and Robyn, sneaking kisses with the latter two and reassuring the former about her place in his heart.
Tierra, meanwhile, tries to do public damage control by half-heartedly apologizing to Robyn and Jackie for her behavior the evening of the group date. In turn, Robyn and Jackie half-heartedly accept and the matter is left to simmer for another week.
At the rose ceremony, Sean quickly doles out the remaining nine roses as the girls glare daggers into him as he calls out each name. Catherine, Desiree, Lindsay, Lesley M., Robyn, AshLee, Sarah, Jackie and Daniella are all given roses, while conniving Amanda gets the boot.
"I enjoyed getting to know you," Sean tells her unconvincingly, not even bothering to walk her completely out the door.
Not that the Bakersfield, Calif. native is bitter or anything.
"Sean has everything I'm looking for in someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with," she sniffles during her final confessional. "I feel so rejected. I was not expecting that … heartbreak is such a difficult emotion. It's gonna be hard to get over Sean. It's not fair. I feel stupid."
You and "Holy Moley!" Leslie H. both, Amanda. The only difference being that one breakup was due to lack of chemistry and the other a lack of honesty. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, right?