It takes a special woman to get the phrase "Money D–k Power" tattooed on her wrist — but Rachel Goldberg (Shiri Appleby) and Quinn King (Constance Zimmer) are exactly that kind of special. The Monday, June 6, episode of UnReal kicked off with the ladies getting inked and then wasted no time setting the stage for season 2.
In a nutshell, former boss man Chet (Craig Bierko) was off in Patagonia on some sort of spiritual journey while Rachel and Quinn headed to Las Vegas to convince network producers to agree to make history with Everlasting's next season … by casting the first black suitor.
His name was Darius Beck (B.J. Britt), and he was a celebrated NFL quarterback who also happened to have a bit of a PR problem after saying, "Bitch, please," to a white ESPN reporter while cameras were rolling. Though network execs were initially opposed to the idea, Quinn's promise of a "ratings bonanza" the minute Darius laid his "black hands on a white ass" proved too tempting to resist.
There's Only One Problem
When Darius and his manager, Romeo (whom Rachel had, umm, bedded during that drug-fueled night in Sin City), arrive at the "mansion," the athlete is having second thoughts and wishing he'd used his off-season to chill in Cabo instead of being on-camera 24 hours a day.
Rachel deftly pointed out that partying in Cabo wouldn't do much to rehab his image and reminded him that he was the first black quarterback of his NFL team and now had the chance to be the first black suitor for Everlasting. With promises to smooth out his image issues, she's ultimately able to talk him off the fence and the crisis is avoided. For now.
A Bitter Jeremy Is a Mean Jeremy
Rachel's problems were just beginning, however. It turned out her ex, Jeremy (Josh Kelly), was still pretty bitter about how things went down between them and recently told her mother he thought Rachel was having a "hyper-sexual manic episode." (To his credit, he might not have been wrong.) Still, when Rachel confronted him about this, he told her that he thought she was a threat to herself and others, emphasizing that he didn't really care if she hurt herself.
Later, when Rachel is providing a rundown of the ladies cast that season — which included a blonde racist from Mississippi named Beth Ann (Lindsay Musil), a black beauty queen named Chantal (Meagan Tandy) and a Pakistani Londoner they were planning to paint as a terrorist, among others — Jeremy cuts Rachel off to ask for the kill list. (ICYMI, the "kill list" is the list of the girls getting cut so the production crew men know which ladies they can sleep with.)
It soon becomes clear that Jeremy's intention isn't to get the kill list, though, it's to humiliate Rachel, which he does by pointing out that one of the women looks like her except that she's "not crazy and takes showers from time to time." Quinn quickly explained to Rachel that she couldn't fire Jeremy, no matter how much she wanted to. "If we fired everyone we had sex with, we wouldn't have a crew," Quinn said. Rachel figured out a way around this, however, and fired one of the guys on Jeremy's team (whom she presumably hadn't slept with) instead.
Rachel Mentors Madison (in the Creepiest Way Possible)
Bitter ex or not, the show must go on, so Rachel got to work mentoring Madison (Genevieve Buechner) on how to pull devastating secrets from the ladies. Madison's first task is to get Chantal to cry on camera about her fiancé dying in a car accident. At first Madison struggles, but soon Rachel is in her ear telling the newbie what to say. After getting Chantal to admit that she was driving the car when her fiancé was killed, Rachel instructed Madison to ask Chantal if she was the one who killed him. Needless to say, this question had the desired effect and Chantal ended up in tears before declaring, "I will love again or die trying."
Madison then turned around and threw up, which Jeremy filmed to make sure Rachel saw — though it might not have had the desired effect since after Madison wiped her mouth, she declared, "That was amazing." And just like that, there was a mini-Rachel in the making.
Chet Returns to Take Back His 'Kingdom'
Meanwhile, a very slimmed-down Chet has returned in hopes of reclaiming the show. "This is my kingdom and my purpose," he told Quinn. "I'm going to take it back." Without batting an eyelash, she corrected him, saying, "No. It's mine. I earned it," and then kicked him out of her office.
Unfortunately, at that moment, Rachel (who was up at UC Berkeley convincing a black social activist to join the cast) didn't have anyone watching over Darius or Romeo … and Chet found them.
The first night that filming was set to begin and all of the women were lined up in their best evening gowns, the limo pulled up — and there was only a cellphone inside. Quinn grabbed it to discover Chet on the line. He had Darius and Romeo with him, which meant filming couldn't start until she found a way to get Chet to play ball.
Quinn and Rachel went to meet Chet, who demanded that the girls all be brought over in bikinis to start filming. Quinn thought fast and negotiated to put the girls in bikinis if Darius would return to the mansion to shoot. It was a compromise for both Chet and Quinn, but it was also clear that this was only the first battle in what was going to be one very nasty war.
Tell Us: What did you think of UnReal's season 2 premiere?
UnReal airs on Lifetime Mondays at 10 p.m. ET.
