Sports Illustrated

We love the Sports Guy, a.k.a. Bill Simmons, who writes an irreverent sports column for ESPN The Magazine and ESPN.com. For the first time in our lives, we found ourselves reading about sports because his articles are peppered with enough witticisms and pop culture to make us care. His articles on the Unintentional Comedy Scale and his running diaries of the Oscars and the Grammys are always hilarious. Seriously good times, as he would say.
 
Thus, we were thrilled to make an appearance in his most recent column. This week, Simmons writes about his love of sports fantasy leagues, which frustrate and confuse his wife who doesn’t follow sports. "Well, come up with a league I'd enjoy. Then, maybe I'll understand,” she told him. Since the Sports Gal is an avid fan of Us, Simmons invented an Us Weekly fantasy league. He explains:

Here's how it works: 10 teams, auction format, $200 cap, five male and five female celebs per roster. Scoring is head-to-head for 22 weeks, playoffs over the last three (so you can have two seasons per year). OK, let's say you pay $55 for Lindsay Lohan. If she makes the cover of Us, you get 10 points (three for the inset photo). Every other Lohan picture inside is worth one. If she appears in the Fashion Police, you're docked three. That's it. Simple.

You can add or drop your celebs each Monday. Like maybe you want to dump Jake Gyllenhaal (because the whole Brokeback thing has played out) and grab Josh Hartnett (because he's dating Scarlett Johansson). Then again, you might want to hang on to Gyllenhaal. He's single and his number might be up in the Lohan deli line.

Actually, Simmons, Gyllenhaal is not single and Lindsay Lohan is now getting her meat from Kate Moss’ ex Jamie Burke -- which is why your wife will totally own you in this league. Brilliant idea. Game on.
 
A fantasy league for the females [ESPN]

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