News - James Haven on Angelina: "All Great Leaders Are Controlling"

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James Haven on Angelina: "All Great Leaders Are Controlling"
Tuesday April 3, 2007

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Angelina Jolie’s brother James Haven -- who told a British newspaper last week that he’s worried she’s too thin -- is opening up again about his famous sister.

In an interview with the weekly magazine Grazia, Haven, 33, talks about how Jolie has changed Brad Pitt, why they work, and whether or not his sister really wears the pants in the family.

On the rumors that Angelina is controlling:
“I have never seen any sign of tension between them. They make all their decisions together. It’s rubbish that she tries to control him. They have a balanced relationship; they each do their stuff. I’ve never seen moments where one is nagging or controlling the other.”

He did concede that his sister likes to be the leader in the relationship, “All great leaders are controlling.”

On how Brad changed Angelina:
“Brad has changed my sister a lot. They have an extraordinary bond, but not on the usual level. Brad is so strong for her; when she feels vulnerable, he has the most incredible strength. She says she couldn’t have adopted more children after Maddox without him."

On why they work:
“The great thing about Brad and Angelina is that they really get each other’s sense of humor, and make each other laugh a lot. They talk about politics a great deal and are very creative together with the projects they are working on. If it keeps going the way it’s going, they’ll be together for life."

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Posted by Noelle Hancock at 4:40 pm ET Permanent Link | 343 Comments

343 Comments

6:57 PM joe's world Says:

heres were i become the enemi...i was married for 18yrs to a mean abusive drunk, i stayed with him for the children i know now how wrong that is. one day i met this sweet interesting man who was 17 yrs younger then me. i cheated on my husband for 5 days, then i ran away with that younge man 3yrs later were getting married... i'm joes world and i'm lov'in joe. though i disagree with what i did i wouldn't change it or take it back, for i now know true undieing love.so i won't make judgement on angie good luck to them all.

5:41 AM TO JON VOIGHT Says:

It has become increasingly apparent to me that Angelina considers herself to be a forgotten, ignored, neglected, and betrayed "orphan" in the "war" of her parents. THAT is her obessesion with adopting these kids. She feels simpatico with them and their plight, it makes her feel less alone in this world, gives her purpose and identity, and it lets her feel that others out there do recognize, understand, and care about her too. Oh boy. Yes, I imagine her parents probably failed her significantly, as many do, but, the reality is that she was NOT an orphan (although this is now getting incredibly complicated, as - in her eyes, with the death of her mother - she actually IS one now, but still, she is not), she is also definitely not from a "war zone," and her story is NOT like the foreign orphans she's adopting. It is also completely inappropriate and abusive to use children to fill an adult's emotional needs. The idea that she is one of them is not accurate. The idea that others (i.e. UN, Washington, Press, Public, etc.) witness her does not mean she is finally acknowledged and validated as herself. She is a little girl playing "world savior" and anticipating the love she never got as a child. With the recent death of her mother, her thrist is unquenchable. Angelina is very confused. She views the world through her childhood eyes and mind, which, by it's nature, is inaccurate. At 31 years old, she really hasn't ever grown up. She has only developed intellectually and therefore THINKS she's grown into an adult, but she never did psychologically nor emotionally, but, unfortunately, she can act the part. This also happens easily when someone is so beautiful because others are only paying attention to the physical, and missing the entire internal process.

No wonder her baby, Shiloh, holds no interest to her. In Angelina's mind, the baby has two parents and is loved - with an adoring father (who even looks like Jon Voight) - and Angelina is jealous. That's why she denigrates Shiloh by calling her "a blob." She's already begun the attack. Brad better seriously watch out for the relationship between Angelina and Shiloh because it's dangerous. Angelina is keeping a distance from Shiloh because she knows (at least, subconsciously) that she has real rage for what that baby has that she feels she never got and should have. The baby is even more beautiful than her mother, particularly with American "ideals" (white, blonde, and blue eyed). I think it's a very good idea to keep that baby away from Angelina until she gets some professional help. If Angelina keeps deteriorating, and as Shiloh grows older, projects her own more distinct personality, and becomes verbal, that is a powderkeg. It's probably smart that Angelina isn't getting pregnant again. I'm sure having a biological baby pushed all kinds of buttons for Angelina. The adopted children are safer because she has empathy for them and identifies with them, and in her mind - they ARE her. They are not a threat nor reminder of her disappointments - they are mirrors of her, companions, cohorts, and company. If she takes care of all of them, then maybe she - or someone else - will take care of little Angelina. She risks further rejection and isolation though because she doesn't fully develop bonds with each of them, moves on too quickly to another child, and alienates them instead of bonding. She does the same with Brad Pitt. She's desparately trying to save and love herself as a child, literally, over and over and over again, but it can't be done because they aren't her, she's not them, and it's not then. It's only a matter of time before this crashes. She's imploding.

I truly hope that, in a perfect world, her father, Jon Voight (who should NOT take no for an answer and make the STRONGEST effort of his LIFE (it's what she wants/needs, consciously or not), her brother James Haven, her godmother Jacqueline Bisset, Brad Pitt, and whoever else might be a loving and strong voice in her life, get together and persuade Angelina that she needs some professional help now. Her reality testing is weak and sliding into fantasy/psychosis. With the recent death of her mother, it would be very, very easy for her to completely lose the distinction between reality and fantasy, which I think has already begun. She doesn't even seem to notice that she's starving herself to death. How do you parent four toddlers in that condition? How do you survive? Do you survive? Where does she imagine that's going to lead? That's why Brad and James keep begging her to eat. We all do need to eat or we will not survive - even Angelina - but she's got to want to survive. A person grieving such an enormous loss as her mother is vulnerable to many self-destructive behaviors, and which Angelina has a history with already. She has FAR too much stress in her life, with an EXTREMELY fractured psychological foundation in the first place. No one, including Angelina, has helped her do the internal emotional work to become a truly healthy human being. It's now a crisis.

You MUST do the work now, Angelina. Save your life while you still can. STOP pushing it and thinking you're omnipotent and seeing where that edge is because this is NOT a game - this is your LIFE - and it's not like anything or anytime you've ever known before. All the avoiding, escaping, running, and creating more stress, more committments, more chaos, and drama in your life are going to push it too far. Do NOT take this as a challenge because you might not come back. You MUST reexamine and reevaluate your inner world FINALLY because THAT is where your peace, love, and freedom will be found. You'll never find anything OUT THERE because it isn't there. Brad, your family, and friends cannot help you if you will not let them. It's very important to begin this work before it's more complicated. Please have the true intelligence and strength you have to accept the truth that you need some professional help ASAP. You need both grief counseling, as well as serious Psychotherapy to unravel the tangled story of your life. It can be done, and with your mind, probably easier than many, but you've got to start NOW. It's true what they say, that the truth will set you free. The pain you're trying to avoid is what you're enduring right now. Your ticket out is to face everything you've never been willing to, with a highly trained Psychotherapist to help you sort through it, correct and revise it, and then finally release it all. Please give yourself, ALL your children, and your relationship with their father, that chance NOW.

They say that what is not love is a cry for love.

And remember, we are each GOD's perfect children, before and more than we are ever anyone else's.

9:01 PM Anonymous Says:

Has anyone seen BP and AJ recently??? They seem to be hiding out and enjoying their family. Good for them.

11:20 AM mich-eng Says:

What's up with the "anonymous" with all the time lines?

Do you know why the magazines, paparazzi, reporters all have jobs? Because of you.

Much of what is reported is only is a sense the truth and is for the most part speculation.... hopeful, gritty, tasty speculation, in order to sell magazines and newspapers or on the larger scale, to impact public opinion.

Please stop being a weak mind and come to grips with reality. You are firing your anger and upset at phantoms. Maybe you should deal with your own personal issues.

10:22 PM Anonymous Says:

Anonymous 2:20: The time line you present is very similar to other time lines presented. I just wonder if you consider the timing appropriate.......especially when he was ending a seven year marriage. I agree that he should have ended his marriage if he was no longer in love but there was no need to start a family prior to finalizing his divorce. That shows no respect to the person you once loved and respected (AJ words).

8:52 PM TO 7:47 AM Anonymous Says: Says:

Yeah, the facts are pretty disgusting, aren't they?

Thanks for your concern though.

8:49 PM Boycott Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Says:

Unless it's about a movie in which Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt are going to entertain me...

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM, OR HEAR ANOTHER WORD ABOUT THEM.

ENOUGH! THERE IS A BIG WORLD OUT THERE, FOLKS.

7:47 AM Anonymous Says:

4:17 AM Time Line Update Says...

YOU SCARE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!!

If I were Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, I'd hire their best to shoot you down when they see you coming. LOL

Holy crap! Can you say P S Y C H O???

4:17 AM Time Line Update Says:

Let's include a full time line, ok? OK

2004 - BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE COSTAR IN "MR&MRS SMITH," WHILE HAVING A TORRID AFFAIR ON SET, IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CREW, AND WHILE FILMING IN LA - HIS HOME WITH HIS WIFE, JENNIFER ANISTON.

1/05- Jennifer and Brad VACATION IN JAMAICA TOGETHER, WITH THEIR FRIENDS COURTNEY COX AND HER HUSBAND DAVID ARQUETTE, (WHILE ANGELINA CALLS BRAD INCESSENTLY), BUT THEN ANNOUNCE THEY WILL separate AFTER 7 YEARS TOGETHER, 5 YEARS AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

2/05 - BRAD PITT THROWS HIS ESTRANGED WIFE, JENNIFER ANISTON, A BIRTHDAY PARTY IN THEIR HOME.

3/05- ANGELINA JOLIE ORCHESTRATES A PHOTO OP OF SHE, BRAD PITT AND HER SON, MADDOX, TOGETHER ON A BEACH IN KENYA WHICH IS SPLASHED ALL OVER THE WORLDWIDE PRESS AND CONFIRMS THE AFFAIR TO EVERYONE, INCLUDING BRAD'S WIFE, JENNIFER ANISTON.

4/05- Jennifer files for divorce FROM HER CHEATING HUSBAND, BRAD PITT.

4-5/05- BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE DO WORLDWIDE PROMOTION TOGETHER FOR THE RELEASE OF "MR&MRS SMITH."

7/05- Brad and Angelina, TOGETHER, ADOPT A 7 MONTH OLD BABY GIRL (ZAHARA) IN Ethiopia, THREE MONTHS AFTER JENNIFER FILES FOR DIVORCE FROM BRAD BUT WHILE THEY ARE STILL MARRIED.

8/05- Divorce FINANCIAL TERMS ARE IN NEGOTIATION WITH TENTATIVE approvAL FOR OCTOBER DIVORCE DATE. ALSO, THEIR HOUSE WASN'T SOLD YET.

9/05- Angelina becomes pregnant BY BRAD PITT, STILL JENNIFER ANISTON'S HUSBAND.

10/4/05- BRAD PITT AND JENNIFER ANISTON ARE LEGALLY DIVORCED
- 18 MONTHS AGO - DURING WHICH BRAD PITT BECAME PARTNER AND LIVE IN COMPANION TO ANGELINA JOLIE (2005+), AS WELL AS FATHER OF MADDOX (5), PAX (3.5), ZAHARA (2), AND BIOLOGICAL BABY SHILOH (1 NEXT MONTH) WITH MOTHER ANGELINA JOLIE.

KIND OF A LOT FOR 18 MONTHS LATER, DON'T YOU THINK?

JENNIFER ANISTON HAS HANDLED THE ENTIRE SICK DRAMA (THAT WAS ONCE HER LIFE) WITH FAR MORE CONTROL AND GRACE THAN MOST WOMEN WOULD. CONTRARY TO ANGELINA JOLIE.

IN FACT, ASK LAURA DERN ALL ABOUT HER ALMOST EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE WITH ANGELINA JOLIE WHEN SHE WORKED WITH LAURA'S LIVE IN FIANCEE, BILLY BOB THORNTON, AND ANGELINA AND BILLY BOB GOT MARRIED IN LAS VEGAS - ALL WHILE LAURA WAS WORKING ON LOCATION. SHE WAS STILL ENGAGED TO BILLY BOB AT THE TIME. IT'S KIND OF HARD TO DISUPTE WHEN IT'S HAPPENED TWICE. CLEARLY ANGELINA HAS ISSUES ABOUT STEALING OTHER WOMENS' HUSBANDS....PROBABLY BECAUSE OF WANDERING DADDY JON VOIGHT. GROW THE FVCK UP!

ONCE THEY REALIZE ANGELINA'S BEAUTY IS ONLY SKINDEEP (AND SHE'S NOT AUTHENTIC), THEY LEAVE SKIDMARKS.

3:39 AM Anonymous Says:

The divorce between Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston was final on October 4th, 2005 - 18 months ago. Look it up.

2:20 AM Anonymous Says:

"5:35 AM Anonymous Says:

Actually, the story, at the time, was that Brad Pitt accompanied Angeline to Ethopia in 7/05 to adopt Zahara TOGETHER. The following month she became pregnant with Shiloh. Then, in October 2005 his divorce from his wife, Jennifer Aniston, became final. "

_____________________________________________________

Jeez do NONE of you people bother to research what you say? Do you do this in your real lives also?

Let's include a full time line, ok?
1/05- Jennifer and Brad separate
3/05- Jennifer files for divorce
7/05- Brad and Angelina go to Ethiopia SEVEN MONTHS AFTER HE SPLITS FROM JENNIFER
8/05- Divorce is approved, Brad and Jennifer are legally single
9/05- Angelina becomes pregnant
10/05- Six month period from divorce filing on a Sunday, the October date people so ignorantly refer to.

2:15 AM Anonymous Says:

"Jennifer Aniston never cried when she "opened the door to a reporter." Interviews are NOT done in their homes anyway...."

It was an interview that took place in both her home- and yes they are done in their homes, did you read it? - and it specifically said she opened the door and cried.

//www.vanityfair.com/fame/features/2005/09/aniston200509

"When Jennifer Aniston opens the door to the Malibu bungalow she's been holed up in lately, she gives me a radiant smile and an effusive hello.

Then she bursts into tears.

We have scarcely sat down in the living room, a serene little haven simply furnished with cushy white sofas and white flowers and white candles, when her face crumples. She is instantly aghast.

"I haven't been feeling emotional lately, really I haven't," she wails, fluttering her hands like Rachel Green in distress, except that this time it isn't funny."

2:09 AM Anonymous Says:

"4:20 AM TO: 10:16 PM Anonymous Says: Says:

"By the way he also got this woman pregnant before his divorce was final."

"The divorce was finalized and both parties declared single people in August. I assume you can do the math and realize that Angelina got pregnant afterwards? By the same act that Jennifer was engaging in with Vince? Same act, different outcomes, equals differnent treatment and guilt? Interesting mindset."

NO, the divorce was final the first week of October 2005. Angelina was already over one month pregnant. Vince Vaughn came to Jennifer's rescue because - guess what? Yes, he starred with Brad and Angelina on "M/M Smith" and WITNESSED their on set affair. He knew the entire truth of the situation, and HAD COMPASSION - for Jennifer Aniston. They became friends, he cast her in "The Breakup," and THEN they began a relationship, months after the divorce. Angelina broke up the marriage between Brad and Jennifer, just as she broke up the engagement of Billy Bob Thornton and Laura Dern before that. It's a bad habit."

______________________________________________________

Well, this partially shows why you are ignorant. Bother to research fool? Obviously not. The divorce was final in August, both were single in August. A simple search too much for you to see if you are right, or in this see you are wrong? You must be very blissful.

//news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4175668.stm
"Last Updated: Tuesday, 23 August 2005, 07:39 GMT 08:39 UK ...
A judge has approved the divorce of actors Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, ending their four-year marriage....
"Marital or domestic partnership status is terminated and the parties are restored to the status of single persons," the papers said. "

Again, the October date was only a technicality because it was six months after Jennifer filed. Not many court papers are finalized on a SUNDAY, as the October date was.

6:31 PM Anonymous Says:

This is a house of cards...oh, did you just feel that wind? Yeah, that's definitely a big breeze coming....

Pray for those kids.

2:20 PM Anonymous Says:

Dear Ms. Jolie
Pax has a birth mother and whole world is watching you so I hope you raise him well and give him much love.
And Brad is a good man and he'll live his life according to his will not yours. I really think you're flourishing because you are with Brad. If you want to be with him, you should respect him and his opinions. He's the most attractive man I've ever seen. Be thankful and be nice to him if you want to be with him.
After all you're so lucky to be with him.
I would marry Brad immediately if I were you.
He's the most desirable male on earth after all.
I wonder if you realize it?

1:58 PM Anonymous Says:

i say that anyone who gives generously to those in need...ANYONE (celebrity or your next door neighbour)...it's all good. were i a celebrity and i had a great deal of media attention already just because of who i was, i would want to use it to bring attention to those less fortunate. i think i would do what i feel i could do within my power.

it's truly unfortunate that we live in a society where substance is ignored for b.s. i would much rather hear about someone "actively" doing something to make this world a better place than what she/he is wearing to one of the billion award shows going on every year. and certainly; getting out there and actually walking among those less fortunate to try to understand the extent of the hardship to try to help where it is needed, is far more credible to me than someone writing their name on a cheque and sticking it in the mail.

so, who's to criticize at all here? the fact that something good is being done should be enough, shouldn't it? oh...that's right...i'm posting this on a site with a bunch of numb-nuts that think they have the inside scoop to what is really going on in these celebrity's lives. lol my bad.

1:55 PM Anonymous Says:

James Haven,you're a loving brother I got that.

1:04 PM Anonymous Says:

i cant stand this anymore AJ is freaking psychopat!!!
another baby??? first she should let shiloh for adoption for someone who will love her! i feel sorry for her! AJ is doing all this just to get more attention and brad gone mad too which is a shame. she will have this huge family of adopted kids brad will leave her coz shell ruin him or hel get bored of being her dog and poor shiloh wil be the maid for her adopted siblings ANGELINA IS MENTALLY SICK I HATE HER........

12:59 PM Anonymous Says:

11.52 )))and the funny thing is that your husband or boyfriend could be cheating on you like crazy but since you think when everything is great between he will never look around)),actually there are so many women who are so sure that will never happen to them that is even sad how naive they are,and I know few that their couple is cheating but the other part think just like you and have no idea what they are doing behind there backs.You for sure don´t know man or live in a f**n bubble.The same goes for women too,u can have everything,have zero problems and still cheat cause of the exitment being with someone new.But ignorance sure is blessing,blessing for ignorant people like you who think will never happen to them or follows some rule but doesn´t and it can happen to anyone.

12:47 PM Anonymous Says:

No matter how many children she adopts, a homewrecker is still a homewrecker.....I would applaud her adopting children, but what about the millions of children waiting to be adopted here, right here in the united states....better yet what about the thousands of orphans in New Orleans? I am sure here intentions are good, but sometimes, I think that celebrities adopt for the wrong reasons, does any one remember Joan Crawford?????????

12:44 PM Clarity Says:

To 9:40 AM Anonymous:

Last year, USA Today (I know, not the world’s greatest newspaper) ran an article about just some of the charitable and humanitarian celebrities who do good deeds and work for good causes. I can’t remember how many there were, but there were easily a dozen or two, and that was just a selection. The interesting thing to note about the article was how many of them had been doing what they are doing for years, for a lot longer than Angelina Jolie has been working with the United Nations. What’s more, most of them do so quietly, inconspicuously, often even anonymously, without all this fanfare and without needing to run to the media with every $100,000 drop in the bucket.

As for Jolie giving “millions and millions of dollars,” philanthropy is what wealthy people in this country do. They have a financial incentive to do so (tax writeoff). What’s more, it is in the culture of wealth in this country to give to charity. Americans give more per capita to charity than anyone else on earth. Granted, they are quite possibly picking up the slack where their government is inadequate, which is how the private sector often functions in a capitalistic society. But, again, whatever the motivation, philanthropy is the norm for wealthy people.

As for Jolie “raising awareness,” I believe the extent of her narcissism is such that she really believes that she has the power to do that. As a journalist, I am aware of the power of narrative for conveying a message. We learn best about issues through individual stories. The problem is that when Jolie travels to “raise awareness,” the narrative that comes back to us is not at all about any of the people she is ostensibly trying to help. It is HER narrative, HER story, HER “journey.” It is all about her. I for one never want to be photographed in a swarm of nameless black children like some kind of Potemkin village that has been staged for me. You learn absolutely nothing about these people. You don’t even learn their names. They are not individuals. SHE is the individual, front and center. I do believe she really wants to help. But as long as the focus is on her, she ultimately helps no one, no more or less than any other wealthy person in this country who gives. The upshot is that her travels are not about “raising awareness” at all, but about continuing to build her own mythic image, whether that is her intention or not. There’s got to be another way.

As I have said before, if you are so phenomenally uninformed or just plain stupid that you never heard of Darfur (or Pakistan, or New Orleans ...) before some dumb Hollywood actor went there, then I really have no use for you. Isn’t it sad that that’s what it takes? Who are these people who are so unbelievably stupid that they have to take their cues on international issues from celebrities?

12:07 PM Anonymous Says:

11:56 AM Anonymous Says:

Get over yourself....Angie is and will always be a psycho whor#....

12:03 PM Anonymous Says:

5:09 AM LOVE this! Says:

"I think she sits and laughs at the fact that she stole a married man (yes she did) and turned him into a puppy. She has him so tight by the balls that I doubt whether he knows his own name any more."

***Right with You!***

Brad Pitt can officially be called "Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt""Stu-Pitt"

11:56 AM Anonymous Says:

11:48 AM Anonymous ...there are doctors that will help you with your mental illness. they're called psychiatrists...therapists...counsellors.

THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE...I REPEAT...NOT REAL LIFE...and once you realize this, you'll be just fine.

11:52 AM Anonymous Says:

11:15 AM Anonymous ...what a load of crap. if your brother was that happy with his wife, why'd he cheat at all? everyone is responsible for their own actions. the "other woman" didn't stick a gun to his head and make him sleep with her (lol). what happened was he realized "after" he screwed around on his wife that what he did was wrong. probably got caught too (lol). that's even better...admitting your wrong when you've been caught with your hand in another cookie jar. explain it all you want...but it takes two to screw around. "she made me do it!" what a load of it.

11:48 AM Anonymous Says:

He just validates his evil sister, and let a lone, he looks as freakish as she does!!!

How is it that Angie-ho would RUN OFF and FEEL COMFORTABLE enough to adopt Zahara, if she was not fuc#ing the cheating, low-life "Stu-Pitt A$$" who claimed that he did not cheat on his wife....We all know she manipulates by her claims that "she would never get with a married man; she just left out the fact that she will fuc# him and bore a bare his child." What a dumb a$$ chick - we see right through her...She needs to tell her freakish brother that NO AMOUNT OF PR will take away his sisters Evil Doings and who she really is - a psycho who needs to cut herself !

11:48 AM Anonymous Says:

He just validates his evil sister, and let a lone, he looks as freakish as she does!!!

11:15 AM Anonymous Says:

8:08 am. You are ridiculously ignorant. Men don't cheat only because they are unhappy. My brother cheated because his assisteant was throwing herself on him. Seducing him and flirted with him. He somehow realized how stupid he was and begged his wife back.

11:04 AM Anonymous Says:

"All great leaders are controlling." Say What?! How is that? Where did he get his leadership training?

9:46 AM bet Says:

Some time they Anglina Change Brad and now the brother saying he changing Anglina. are those people does not have thier own mind. Are they Robot, they have to switch each other in order for them to think.

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