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Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. You can either show the boobies or flash the legs. But you can't show both together or you're pushing the envelope into Mariah's scantily clad mailbox. And why do you look like a lost Hogan? Take our advice: When it comes to the preferred color of epidermis, Hogan does not know best.
 
This is what we would've said to Jessica Simpson at last night's CFDA Awards --the Oscars of the fashion world -- but she did not talk to Us, alas. But we did talk to stars like Jeremy Piven, Diddy, and Lindsay Lohan. Here's what they had to say:  
 
LINDSAY LOHAN
LL: I have fashion shows for myself every morning and my friends take pictures and then we decide which outfit looks best on me.
Us: What do you like to do when you’re in New York?
LL: I like Central Park. I just like walking in Central Park but I’ve been sitting in my room mostly.
Us: You had a mystery man in Interview magazine last month, Jamie. How’s everything going with him?
LL: There are two Jamies that I know so…
 
RACHEL ZOE (LINDSAY’S STYLIST)
Us: What are Lindsay’s plans for fall clothing?
RZ: Oh god, who ever knows? It’s like fashion, fashion, fashion. Can’t get enough. She loves clothes. That’s what I love about her, well one of the things that I love about her. She’s so much fun, you know. She does keep me busy but she’s always interesting and fun because she loves to try new clothes and new designers and she never gets sick of it and neither do I.
 
JEREMY PIVEN (CFDA AWARD SHOW HOST)
Us: What qualifies you to host the CFDA Awards?
JP: Absolutely nothing. I have no qualifications whatsoever. I am completely underqualified.
Us: Are you nervous about that?
JP: No. Cause I think if you make a mistake, you’ll be okay. That’s my plan for this evening.
Us: Which beautiful woman are you most looking forward
to seeing tonight?
JP: The Dalai Lama said it best.
Us: What did the Dalai Lama say?
JP: That it’s maybe not the best choice to have a favorite anything.
 
CHLOE SEVIGNY
Us: Is there anything you'd like to see develop in your character on Big Love?
CS: I'd like to see the girls get together against Bill, I'd like to see them gang up on him. I'd like to see more interaction with the children.
 
DIDDY
Us: Why do you love the South of France so much?
D: It speaks for itself – the water – but I’m a big boat person. My biggest indulgence – Is that the right word? Just making sure -- it’s my yacht.
 
SCARLETT JOHANSSON
Us: How do you like your dark hair when you’re not on
camera?
SJ: Um, you know, it’s okay. I’m waiting to go back to
blonde though.

Us Poll: Which Scarlett Do You Prefer?