At a luncheon in Beverly Hills.

SZISH: Does she come with a gift card, too?
LOPEZ: Dancing With the Stars’ Kids.
KNOBLER: Wherever Sam goes, her trusty pet bat follows.
LANDRY: I’m impressed! All those hosting gigs and she still finds time to earn a black belt!

At a Ricky Martin tribute in NYC.

LOPEZ: From the new Jiffy Pop evening gown collection.
GOOD: Jennifer, Enough, already!
TA: J. Lo wants even more padding for her tush?! Jeez.
WILDER: So that’s what J. Lo uses all her old used Christmas wrapping paper for!
CORREA: Hey, isn’t that Big Bird’s red-feathered sister?!
KNOBLER: I didn’t think it was possible to be in anything worse than Gigli.

At the MTV studios in Canada.

CORREA: His name has never been more fitting than right now.
SZISH: Was his last movie called Crash — or Clash?
MCDONALD: His ode to old hip-hop: Wearing clothes from 1985.
KNOBLER: “. . . And then, this roll of Sweet Tarts just exploded!”
WILDER: Moral of this outfit: Do not cross 50 Cent when he’s packing a paintball gun.

CORREA: So I take it her stylist got killed off, too.
SZISH: The ever-savvy Mischa bypasses baggage check by wearing her entire wardrobe to the airport!
LANDRY: The jacket looks as rough as her eye makeup.
TA: Is this a sweater . . . or a multilayer bean dip?
LOPEZ: I hear duvet covers are the new black.

At the 17th Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills.

KNOBLER: Meet C3PO’s lady of the night.
GOOD: The closest Suzanne will ever get to winning an Oscar.
LANDRY: Her accessories: a flask of Goldschlager and almond Hershey’s Kisses.
LOPEZ: The price of gold just went way, way down.
WILDER: So now I know who raided Liberace’s estate sale!
EISENBERG: On the plus side, she’d look great on the hood of a stretch SUV.

At the Carousel of Hope Ball in Beverly Hills.

TA: Looks like this Cinderella turned into a pumpkin way before midnight.
MCDONALD: The Sideways star must’ve had a few bottles of red before dressing.
LOPEZ: The Terror Alert has been raised to orange.
LOPEZ: Curtain rod sold separately.
SZISH: Poor Virginia. Did her bottle of Sunkist explode on her in the limo?
KNOBLER: Later, other party guests basked under her dress and got tans.