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Paris Hilton Inspires Fear In Animals
Monday December 18, 2006

In light of Paris Hilton being named the second worst celebrity dog owner of 2006 for treating her canines as “accessories,” we decided to investigate her relationships with pets in general.

And as a wise man doing the voiceovers for Mastercard commercials once said, “There are some things that money can’t buy.” Clearly, the love of animals is one of them. How else do you explain this photo retrospective of Hilton's travails into the mammalian commonwealth?

Every one of these animals is turning the furry cheek away from Paris with legs-aflailing, or basically assuming the universal “get me the hell out of here” position. She’s having to apply a fierce hand tourniquet to the cat’s tail to keep it under control. Even the monkey is looking around for another shoulder to sit on. When your clavicle is being shunned by a primate dressed as if it is the sheriff of Michael Jackson, it’s time to take a step back.

Not all of us are animal people, Paris. Well, except for "humanzees," which are literally animal people. But that's another blog post for another time.

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Britney Named Worst Celebrity Dog Owner of 2006

Posted by Noelle Hancock at 5:00 pm ET Permanent Link | 31 Comments
Categories: Paris Hilton

31 Comments

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11:02 AM Anonymous Says:

I do not like Paris she seems very skanky and does have a man face. By the way did anybody see the pic of her showing her shoes to the camera and pulling it up to where here own pussy cat was hanging out it was nasty it looked like she tp stuck all up there. GRRRRRRROOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

6:33 PM A Says:

ahahahahaha PSYCHO....god, spaz out over nothing! hahaha...maybe I'm a cunt, but I definitely won't be shutting up till I feel like it

3:59 PM Anonymous Says:

ur all cunts SHUTUP!

12:34 PM A Says:

Dee, I admit when I'm jealous. I'm definitely not fat either (5'3" and 105 lbs.) I admit I'd love to have Paris' money but not her man face (I think mine is much prettier) Sorry Dee, but just because we like to make fun of her doesn't mean we want to be like her.

11:16 AM NeEn Says:

A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR OUR FELINE FRIEND!! THE LOOK ON ITS FACE DESCRIBED WITHOUT EVEN TALKING WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF PARIS.

11:11 AM Anonymous102 Says:

that cat looks pissed!

10:54 AM E Says:

I disagree with Dee as well but leave it to an ANON to call her the C word. Such intelligent & mature debating here at US. What you can't disagree and make a good argument without resorting to the old cuss out routine. Do you realize how ignorant u look? Do you care? It negates anything you have to say...true story. Now go ahead and call me the C_word...there's an effin' surprise.

10:14 AM bs Says:

Anon 9:22, thanks for backing me up, good to know that i am not the only one who feels that way.

9:01 AM bs Says:

Dee, thanks for your brilliant analysis. i hardly consider myself overweight at 5'1 and 117 lbs. however, i do remember the old saying, about having to put down other people to make yourself feel better. maybe you are the overweight one.

8:56 AM Stephie Says:

Animals need exercise... that is how they interact and are in the wild. They hunt for food, play and fight. A dog needs to exercise to be healty mentally and physically. Always carrying your dog, or pushing it in a stupid baby stroller is not only dumb, but not good for them. Dogs that are not exercised become problem dogs. All them stupid celebrity pet owners should really watch the dog whisperer. I walk my dogs twice a day, and still feel that it is not enough!

7:59 AM Anonymous Says:

S.K.A.N.K

7:58 AM maleja Says:

jajajaja its like the south park chapter, there the poor tinkerbell kills himself (and wasnt the only one).... i love animals, but i think for them its really bad, no walk and only being carry or in a dumb baby stroller....Britney is trashy, but i dont really think its a bit fair the new "worst pet owner" price, i think "bit bit" its death a long while ago.... so now she have no pets

2:04 AM Anonymous Says:

paris hilton and animals...she should be kept away from them. If she treats animals as accessories, she'll treat her own kids as accessories, too. Just my opinion.

1:01 AM Anonymous Says:

6:09 PM A Says: I love the cat's pose in the upper left hahaha....it's about to attack her weave...so funny!>>>>>>>>> That's not a cat, it's a Pug.

12:12 AM Aretha Franklin Says:

These pictures of Paris holding animals isn't nearly as dumb as the pictures taken of Tori Spelling taking her pug for a walk in a baby stroller. That was just wrong - on so many levels.

11:19 PM Anonymous Says:

paris hilton...Who is she? Is she no longer a human being anymore?

11:16 PM Carly Says:

hahahahahahahahahaha

10:47 PM jen Says:

i love paris hilton she is who she is and that what makes her always in the media.

9:17 PM Dee Says:

The comments here are just pure jealousy talking,no doubt made by overweight bitches who can't stand slim and rich Paris. Paris Hilton has the money and the interest to take very good care of her animals. The press has never been in her house, so how would they even know anything about those pets. Fucking idiots, they're just making shit up and the pathetic posters here believe that crap.

8:22 PM Mary-Helen Says:

I feel so badly for that terrified pug. It looks like it wants to flee. Then again, I feel badly for any animal that lives with Paris...remember poor Tinkerbell, who she got rid of one day for being fat?

8:09 PM gigi Says:

I think it would be funny if one of these animals just took a dump right on her!

7:46 PM Anonymous:0 Says:

ewww she is a a very very ewww girll. I would like to treat her like she treats her animals !SHIIT"!

7:12 PM Anonymous Says:

Once again US Weekly has done it with putting nasty Paris Hilton on their webpage. Who the heck cares about her? Honestly! Stop feeding into her, if everyone stopped talking about her, maybe she would go away. Wouldn't that be nice. LOL!!

6:13 PM gigi Says:

Id like to see her carrying around a skunk! Hopefully it would spray her in the face. Whats next, a polar bear?

6:09 PM A Says:

I love the cat's pose in the upper left hahaha....it's about to attack her weave...so funny!

6:08 PM A Says:

ahahaha...didn't she get bucked off a horse too? They KNOW. They hate fake, skanky creeps like her!

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