Talk about low-hanging fruit. Groupon's social media team had to know what they were in for when they took to the company's Facebook page to promote the Banana Bunker, a hard plastic tube with a ribbed "collapsible midsection" meant to protect your banana (not a euphemism) from "getting bruised or crushed."
Predictably, Facebook users turned the comments section on the post into a nonstop stream of sex jokes about the product's, ahem, suggestive shape. (In the immortal words of Gwen Stefani, this ish is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.)
Groupon, for its part, responded in kind, replying to each instance of sexual innuendo with an intentionally (and hilariously) innocuous remark about the virtues of the Banana Bunker. Below, check out 15 of the best jokes and responses from Groupon's Banana Bunker post.
1. Shane B.: "What if my girlfriend doesn't like the banana bunker? What should I do?"
Groupon: "Two words: new girlfriend."
2. Pete W.: "Is it okay to caress my banana bunker?"
Groupon: "Human contact is always a great way to show someone or something how much you care! hold it dear, and let it know that you're proud of its snack fruit protection."
3. Holly A.: "What if my banana is too big?"
Groupon: "Let's not exaggerate, Holly."
4. Joseph F.: "Is there someone you should contact if your banana stays bunked for more than 4 hours?"
Groupon: "Nope, just pat yourself on the back — you're loyal and protective towards your bananas, and it shows."
5. Anna G.: "Does this offer protection against BTDs (banana transmitted diseases)?"
Groupon: "Unfortunately, scientists have been working for years to come up with an adequate protection from fusarium, which is a bacteria which is killing our beloved bananas. While the Banana Bunker will save it from bruises, there is less hope for the banana variant largely eaten in North America – the cavendish – which offers few resistances to this bacteria."
6. Heather J.: "Is this ribbed for the bananas pleasure?"
Groupon: "That's a complicated question, Heather. Bananas don't exactly 'feel' like we humans do, but our scientists estimate that they heavily enjoy the comfort of the banana bunker!"
7. Ken J.: "You know what that looks like, don't you?"
Groupon: "Like a sound investment, Ken!"
8. Brian C.: "My wife has had one by her bedside table for 2 1/2 months without a banana inside. Should I be worried?"
Groupon: "That's definitely a hint. Make sure to begin stocking your house with fresh, healthy produce as soon as possible."
9. Lisa B.: "That looks like a toy vibe, bahaha."
Groupon: "The only vibe here is an exceptional amount of concern for keeping our bananas safe."
10. Stephanie R.: "Looks like a…never mind."
Groupon: "Good thinking, but we disagree. It does not look like a CD of the popular Nirvana album 'Nevermind."
11. Jeremy G.: "That is just…phallic."
Groupon: "You bet! Pretty Handy At Lunch on the Links and In the Cafeteria!"
12: Michael P.: "It looks like a dildo!!!"
Groupon: "Dildon't bring personal life into our banana conversation."
13. Lauren B.: "Is that a Banana Bunker in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
Groupon: "Why not both?! A well-protected snack is a good present for a great friend."
14. Maureen S.: "What if your banana is, you know, crooked?"
Groupon: "There's no need to be ashamed of a crooked banana. The Bunker will conform to many banana shapes using the ribbed center portion."
15. Haley K.: "Is this comparable to Kimmy Schmidt's bunker?"
Groupon: "Unbreakability not guaranteed."
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