Coming clean. Kendrick Lamar opened up about his struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts in a new interview with MTV.
The celebrated rapper, 27, became vulnerable when discussing the song "u" off of his 2015 album To Pimp a Butterfly. In the emotional track, Lamar discusses his inner demons, rapping, "I know your secrets… I know depression is restin' on your heart for two reasons… And if this bottle could talk I cry myself to sleep / Bitch everything is your fault… Shoulda killed yo ass a long time ago / You shoulda feeled that black revolver blast a long time ago / And if those mirrors could talk it would say 'you gotta go' / And if I told your secrets / The world'll know money can't stop a suicidal weakness."
Lamar was asked about the haunting lyrics in his interview with MTV, and explained just where the words came from in his past.
"I've pulled that song not only from previous experiences, but, I think my whole life, I think everything is drawn out of that. Even situations from Good Kid M.A.A.D City…" Lamar said, naming his smash hit 2012 album, which quickly made him a household name. "Nothing was as vulnerable as that record. So it's even pulling from those experiences of coming up in Compton. It's pulling from the experience of going through change and accepting change — that's the hardest thing for man, accepting change."
The "Poetic Justice" rapper went on to discuss the troubles that he sees back home in Compton, Calif., and the struggle that he has in coping with not being able to help.
"When I was on that tour bus and things is happening back home in my city or in my family that I can't do nothing about, it's out of my control, [and to] put it in God's hands, I couldn't understand that," Lamar revealed of moments when he was on the road and not able to be in California to help his friends and family members. "That can draw a thin line between you having your sanity and you losing it. This is how artists deteriorate if you don't catch yourself."
Lamar added that he struggles with survivor's guilt, after seeing far too many loved ones get killed.
"It's real, man," the Grammy winner began. "Three of my homeboys [one] summertime was murdered, close ones too, not just somebody that I hear about. These [are] people I grew up with. It all, psychologically, it messes your brain up. You live in this life, you know what I'm saying, but you still have to face realities of this. I gotta get back off that tour bus and go to these funerals… Talk to my mom and talk to their aunties — the kids that lost their lives."
Watch Lamar open up in the video above.
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