Next time, try a soft serve and french fries! Josh Raby, the creator of a web series called Local Air, wanted a late-night milkshake from McDonald’s this weekend — but he got much more than that at the drive-thru window. Raby tweeted his McDonald’s experience late Sunday, April 10, in a story thread that has since gone viral, with thousands of people sharing and liking his odd fast-food experience.
“It’s 1AM and I decided I wanted a milkshake. So there’s a McDonald’s near my house,” Raby recalled. “I’m greeted at the drive thru by the following sentence: ‘Hey holy s–t hello, you are at McDonald’s, and I am begging your patience.'”
There are no other cars here, by the way. I’m caught off guard so I mumble “Um, ok you can have it.”
The voice comes back:
“Praise you.”— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
So I sit for a minute, then he finally returns and says “please tell me your order”
So I say “milkshake”
I don’t know why that’s all I said— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I’ll need a minute”, he replies. I realize I did not describe my desired milkshake in any way so I yell “I need to tell you what kind.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
He is gone for several minutes. When he returns he says flatly “we aren’t going to be able to do the milkshake. I do have many apple pies.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Do not ask me why I did this but the next words out of my mouth were
“Are you ok”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I am not ok. Would you please tell me your order so I can try to punch it in? I will be very slow, but I will get it.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I tell him not to worry, I am not upset, and at this point for some reason I order a chicken sandwich
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
My chicken sandwich order confuses him. Several minutes are spent repeating what I want on it, watching the screen as he tries over and over
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
At one point I guess he gave up because the screen just went black for a while.
I hear a deep exhale.
“Dude I lost my wife”.
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“I’m sorry, man, I-“
“Please describe your chicken sandwich to me again so I can succeed at one thing.”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Anyway he finally gets it and then says “I really do feel bad about the milkshake situation. Can I sell you an apple pie?”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Fine. I will buy an apple pie.”
“Apple pies are cheaper than milkshakes anyway.”
“Ok, thanks”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Thankfully, the man found his wife. “Then there is a weird series of beeps and when his voice comes back in he is f–king SCREAMING into his headset: ‘I FOUND HER! THANK GOD!'” Raby recalled.
“What? Who did you find?”
“MY WIFE. SHE WAS WATCHING ME FROM BEHIND THE BOXES!”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
At this point I have ordered a chicken sandwich I do not want and an apple pie I do not want and no milkshake and I’ve been here 22 minutes
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Can you give me my total” I say because honestly I don’t know if I want to understand his marriage or if I even could and I just want to go
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
So he says “your total is 8 HOLD ON my wife is here and she wants me to tell you she will sell you 2 apple pies at a discount”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“What is the discount?”
“2 apple pies for only 2 dollars. You should take it.”
(Note: One apple pie is $1.19)
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
“Give me the extra pie”
“She says thank you”
“Tell her I said no problem”
Why am I talking to his wife like this why
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Finally, Raby was able to pull through to the pick-up section of the restaurant, where things continued to devolve. “I pull around and they are f–king making out in the window and he has his thumb out like he is aware I will be driving up to this,” he tweeted. “Both of these people are in their mid-40s. They unstick themselves from one another and I hand him my card. ‘Sorry about this. I haven’t worked at McDonald’s in 16 years,’ he says.”
Apparently, the employee didn’t like Raby’s response. “I say ‘it’s fine’ to which he says ‘FINE just stands for F–KED UP, INSECURE, NEUROTIC, and ERROR-PRONE.'”
His wife cackles and says “I knew that when I was 13, get with it, man!”
I have been here 37 minutes.
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
I am then treated to a story about how they met at a McDonald’s that is very short and is really only “we met at McDonald’s in 1993”
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
Raby then pulled up to the next window to pick up his order. “So listen I get my card and drive ahead to the next window and THERE IS A WHOLE SEPARATE F–KING HUMAN AT THAT WINDOW,” he wrote.
He hands me my bag, leans out the window and says “you get to drive away” then promptly shuts the window and sits on a stool, head in hands
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
My chicken sandwich was wrong, by the way
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
For those who were doubtful about the entire story, Raby posted graphic evidence from his strange encounter.
To all the online publications asking me to confirm this dumb story I respectfully submit the following pic.twitter.com/arDMusgUwi
— Josh Raby (@JoshRaby) April 11, 2016
