Clayton Echard and Susie Evans Cite Communication Styles, ‘Bachelor’ Backlash as Reasons for Split: Revelations

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Clayton Echard and Susie Evans Cite Communication Styles, 'Bachelor' Backlash as Reasons for Split: Revelations

Breaking up — together? Clayton Echard and Susie Evans continue to do things their own way, giving a joint interview about their decision to call it quits less than two weeks after their split. “There was so many factors at play. This wasn't a traditional relationship. This was a relationship that was broadcast on national television. There was so many moving parts. … I wasn't really sure of what my next step was going to be once the show ended,” the season 26 Bachelor began on the “Off the Vine” podcast on Tuesday, October 4. “I had uprooted myself, I had sold my place. I was like, ‘OK, I can go wherever.’ But as far as what I ended up doing — am I going to go back to corporate America? Or am I going to chase my passions? There were all these unknowns. And I think it put me in a place of instability. Plus, with the backlash from the show, it became very overwhelming, very quickly. And so, what I think ended up happening is I was trying to figure out what my next step was [and] I started questioning who I was because of all the negativity. I started to believe some of what was being said about me. And I now look back at it and realize, like, I couldn't be that stable, secure man that I needed to be to really be able to give my all in a relationship.” As Echard, who noted he kept asking Evans for more time to heal, continued to be candid about how he struggled with his “self-identity” and the backlash from his season of The Bachelor — he told Evans, Gabby Windey and Rachel Recchia that he was in love with all three of them — the wedding videographer began to cry. “I’m, like, so emotional over here. … We just talked for two hours [on the phone] and we were fine. I wasn't crying or anything,” Evans said. “But yeah, I think a lot of it was just self-identity and I think that he was looking for stability. And there were times [when] I didn't provide that as well because I just wasn't sure. I was like, you know, ‘I can't wait three months.’ I can't promise three months or whatever. And I think that's really hard in a relationship too when I'm on the other hand like, ‘I need security. … I want to be two whole people.’” [jwplayer My2MbEBX] Echard and Evans went public with their split on September 23, releasing a joint statement via Instagram. “We understand that there will likely be a lot of questions about this decision — social media is definitely a highlight reel and much of our experiences together we have kept private as I’m sure most can understand,” the pair wrote about their “painful” decision to split. “But we will share this — although this last year together has brought us so much joy and so many laughs, there has also been a significant amount of pain. We know no healthy relationship comes without its struggles, but we’ve realized that we were not prepared for the external forces that hindered our ability to not only heal as individuals but also as a couple. We both are focused on continuing to work on ourselves, so we can be the best version of ourselves. … Although Claysie is no more, we hope that our communities can support us individually as we move forward with love and respect for each other. Thank you to all of you that supported our relationship. It means so much more than you will ever know. ❤️” Scroll through for more from Echard and Evans about their breakup:

Credit: Courtesy of Clayton Echard/Instagram

Their Different Communication Styles

Echard revealed that he nearly backed out of the scheduled podcast appearance but spent hours on the phone with Evans before they joined Kaitlyn Bristowe. During their pre-show conversation, he had a new revelation about how they communicate differently.

“It’s sad. … I wish, I guess, I could be a better communicator. It’s, like, tough when we spend hours and hours and hours and, like, there's a lot of hurt in those hours. But then we get to this endpoint, like, ‘Oh, that's what you were trying to say,’” he explained. “And it's just like, ‘Dang, why couldn't I have said it that way at the beginning, or why couldn't we have understood at the beginning?’”

Credit: Courtesy of Susie Evans/Instagram

How Long Clayton and Susie Were Delaying Breakup

Echard admitted that he lost his “identity” and was trying “so hard to heal,” promising Evans that he just needed more time.

“I was telling Susie, ‘Hey, once I get past these things, once I find my confidence again, once I love myself again, then I'll be able to love you. But just give me three more months, just give me three more months,’” he recalled. “And I just couldn't heal and the time that I thought I was going to heal, it just kept stretching. And then there was more commentary and a new season and more comments were being said and my name was constantly on Twitter. …  These conversations popped up a few times. … There's so much love, and I was like, ‘I want to fight so hard for this relationship, but I feel like the more I fight, the more I tear her down.’”

Credit: ABC/John Medland

How the Cheating Scandal, ‘Bachelorette’ Premiere Played Role in Clayton, Susie’s Split

The former football player explained that the duo “saw the tides turning” when it came to public perception of their relationship, but the “damage was done already,” revealing that both he and Evans had a lot of “dark days” the world didn’t see. Echard also made it clear that false allegations via TikTok that he cheated and Windey and Recchia’s Bachelorette suitors making fun of him didn’t help matters.  

“I could never have imagined that I was going to get thousands of death threats in my DMs. I couldn't have imagined that I was going to spend the vast majority of my relationship trying to convince Susie, like, ‘Hey, I'm going to be better once I heal,’” he said. “I couldn't just breathe a sigh of relief because I was, like, ‘There's always something that we're combating.’ The cheating scandal — that was treacherous to our relationship. That really hurt us because it was just one more thing that piled on. And I think if you took any of these things and you just isolated them, I think we would have gotten through it with flying colors. But it was just one thing after the next and then [The Bachelorette] came on. And then it was like, you know, ‘Clayton sucks.’ ... That hurts, those comments. Because what that does is that then brings the focus back on to us. And then people online are like, ‘Yeah, he does suck.’”

Credit: Courtesy of Clayton Echard/Instagram

The Moving Conversation

Back in August, Echard revealed that he and Evans were leaving their shared home in Virginia Beach as he relocated to Arizona and she spent time in Los Angeles. When the former Bachelorette asked the twosome whether the admission was a “soft” breakup announcement, Echard said it was more a “misunderstanding” and “miscommunication” between the duo as he struggled with his career path. He explained that he originally told Evans he wanted to go back to corporate America, and she agreed to follow him to the West Coast. When he changed his mind again and wanted to pursue his mental health coaching, she supported his dreams but didn’t want to continue to be in “limbo.”

“It sucked because when we had this conversation an hour ago, I was like, ‘So if I would have just picked the stability route, could that have changed things?’ But I also was like, 'Susie was helping me chase my passions and not just go back to what I've known, that's been safe my entire life.’ I mean, my entire life, I played it safe,” he said. “And I realized that safe doesn't bring you happiness, sometimes. … And I realized I can't give up on this dream and this passion of mine, how do I find enough stability mentally that I can provide for Susie but also, like, I don't want to take away from me chasing after my passion that, truthfully is giving me life — just chasing and reaching these kids and making a major difference bigger than I ever have.”

Credit: Courtesy of Susie Evans/Instagram

Will Clayton and Susie Get Back Together?

“We’re not going to say there's not the possibility, but there's still a lot of pain that came from the entire situation itself that, I think, we can both say we are kind of far off from healing from right now,” Echard said. “We need more time. I don't know if that's three, six months, a year, two years, whatever, but like, the damage is still too fresh.”

Credit: Courtesy of Clayton Echard/Instagram

Clayton ‘Felt Abandoned’ by Susie

"It's really hard because when we first broke up…my first initial feeling was, like, I felt abandoned — that was my first feeling," Echard said. “I was upset. I didn't even want to look in her direction because I was like: If I look at you, the hurt is gonna tear me apart."

Evans admitted she was taken aback: ”He was very sassy, and I didn't like it. I was like, 'Oh, that's how we're gonna do it?’”

"That lasted like half a day, and then I was like I can't do this," Echard continued. "I can't ignore her for this next week. I can't do this. I don't want to do this. There's so much love here. I want us to end on happy terms. So then I apologized, and I was like, 'Hey, I want us to be happy,' and then we were happy for a few days. … We were crying non-stop. We were like, 'Wait, we're having so much fun now, should we not break up?’”

While Evans noted that she thinks they can still be friends — revealing she’s been checking in on Echard — she’s worried her ex needs space.

"Can Susie and I find a way to still keep in contact but not hold onto this feeling of: Can this work? Because what happens if it doesn't?" he asked. "I don't want to be crushed and hold onto hope. And then all of a sudden, no this isn't going to work … then it just destroys you a second time."

Credit: Courtesy of Clayton Echard/Instagram

Susie Helped Clayton With Suicidal Thoughts

“I had no business being the Bachelor with the person that I was then. … The person I was now would have handled things 100 times better,” Echard said, noting that he packed 10 years of growth in one year. “I wouldn't have been held accountable if I wasn't placed in a spotlight where everyone could see every single corner of who I was every piece of me. I mean, I do think it all happens for a reason. I think I wouldn't have been able to get through what I got through with anybody other than Susie. She was the only person that was going to help me see what I saw. And she was the only person that was going to keep me from going off the rails and doing something extremely drastic because I had very dark thoughts from the show — moments where I said, you know, ‘It’d be better off if I just ended things.’ And the fact that I had her with me as I was thinking that — I'm like, ‘What if I didn't have her?’ You know, 'Where would I have been then?’”