Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner’s Relationship Timeline: A Look at Their 5 Decades of Romance

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Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner's Relationship Timeline: A Look at Their 5 Decades of Romance

An everlasting love. Lily Tomlin has played many parts — the titular Frankie on Grace and Frankie, Violet in 9 to 5, even Ms. Frizzle on the Magic School Bus — but her favorite role of all is wife to Jane Wagner. The couple — who have been together for more than 50 years — first met in the early 1970s, where it was love at first sight. “I tell you, in two minutes, I fell in love with her,” the Malibu County alum recalled in July 2020 at the Lambda Literary Awards of meeting the playwright, who was introduced to Tomlin at the actress’ New York City hotel through a mutual friend. The Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse star had recently seen Wagner’s 1969 PBS after-school special, J.T., and wanted to speak with her about it. “She had on hot pants, stretchy boots that went up to her knee, and a little backpack,” Tomlin remembered. “I don’t know what it was, but I was in love.” The couple went on their first date the next day, and the rest was history. “It was an ecstatic time when we found each other,” Wagner added. “Aesthetically — and in every other way.” [jwplayer uVuqP0xq-zhNYySv2] The pair not only fell in love romantically, but also fell in love creatively. They immediately began collaborating together: Wagner as the writer, Tomlin as the performer. The Tennessee native penned project after project for her love, including several of Tomlin’s own starring vehicles: The Lily Tomlin Show TV special and two subsequent Lily specials, all in the mid-‘70s. As the decade came to a close, the twosome were just getting started, with Wagner writing the Tomlin/John Travolta film Moment by Moment, and, in the early ‘80s, The Incredible Shrinking Woman, starring the Grace and Frankie alum. On stage, however, is where the couple really hit their stride — Wagner’s 1985 play, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, earned both her and Tomlin individual Drama Desk Awards. The one-woman show also nabbed the 9 to 5 star a Tony Award for best actress, as well as an Outer Critics’ Circle award. The two later reprised their parts (Wagner as the writer and Tomlin as the lead) for the 1991 film. After more than four decades together, Wagner and Tomlin tied the knot on New Year’s Eve 2013, hours before the start of 2014. The Desperate Housewives alum told E! earlier that she never thought she would see same-sex marriage become legal in her lifetime. “You didn't think that would happen,” Tomlin noted. “It's pretty remarkable.” Keep scrolling to see the sweetest moments of Tomlin and Wagner’s 50-year-plus romance:

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1971

“A friend brought her to my hotel room,” Tomlin recalled of meeting Wagner for the first time in New York City. “I tell you, in two minutes, I fell in love with her. She had on hot pants, stretchy boots that went up to her knee, and a little backpack. I don’t know what it was, but I was in love.”

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The 1970s to Mid-1980s

While the pair hit it off romantically, they also realized they were in-sync creatively. The rest of the decade saw the two collaborate on everything from a comedy album to movies — including the Tomlin/Travolta-led Moment by Moment — to Tomlin’s own television specials.

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1985

In addition to all of their earlier success, both Wagner and Tomlin hit the jackpot when they combined their talents for the playwright’s one-woman show, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life, in which the Grace and Frankie alum starred. The duo each scored Drama Desk Awards, while Tomlin also took home a Tony for best actress.

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2012

A true honor: The creatives received a joint star on the Palm Springs’ Hollywood Walk of Fame for their work in entertainment.

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2013

They do! Tomlin and Wagner made their relationship official on New Year’s Eve 2013.

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2020

The critically-acclaimed writer gushed about her partner at the 2020 Lambda Literary Awards, revealing how having Tomlin as both a support and a star changed her career — and her life.

“When I got confidence, it was because of Lily, who believed in my work,” Wagner shared at the time. “We loved similar things and it was just kind of remarkable that we were on the same page, aesthetically. Her appreciation of my work meant all the difference to me. I saw her motivation. I saw her drive, and her strength taught me something.”

She added: “I wish every writer could have that. It’s what we all yearn for: Acceptance and appreciation.”

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2022

Tomlin further showed that appreciation via social media in August 2022, sharing a black and white image of her and Wagner, captioning it simply, “😍.”