Everything Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell Have Said About Her Controversial ‘Bachelor’ Scandal

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Everything Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell Have Said About Her Controversial 'Bachelor' Scandal

Dealing with the past. Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell may have headed off to their happy ending after filming season 25 of The Bachelor, but the couple quickly found themselves dealing with lots of obstacles. Viewers watched sparks fly between the graphic designer and the former football player as they got to know each other better, but Kirkconnell found herself making headlines off screen for past racially insensitive actions. After photos of Kirkconnell attending an “Old South”-themed frat party in 2018 went viral online, the Georgia native apologized for her past choices. "While there have been rumors circulating, there have also been truths that have come to light that I need to address. I hear you, and I'm here to say I was wrong," she wrote via Instagram in February 2021. "At one point, I didn't recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn't excuse them. My age or when it happened does not excuse anything. They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist." At that time, Chris Harrison faced backlash when he asked fans to have “grace” for Kirkconnell amid the scandal. Harrison eventually announced his exit from the Bachelor franchise. Kirkconnell went on to reiterate that she was putting in the work and standing by her apology after some questioned why she even needed to say anything. [jwplayer NE9ZI0Jz-zhNYySv2] "My statement and apology is for the people of color that i have offended, if you do not identify as BIPOC then it is not your apology to accept or not. please be respectful to those who have been affected," she via Instagram Story several days after her first post on the subject. That same month, James decided to break up with Kirkconnell in order for her to do the work when it came to educating herself. During the After the Final Rose special, the businessman confirmed their split and explained how he felt when he saw her past photos. “As someone who grew up in the South, it takes me to a place that I don’t often like to think about. I wasn’t OK. It was in that moment and the conversation that I had, that Rachael might not understand what it means to be Black in America,” he said in March 2021. “It’s heartbreaking. If you don’t understand that something like that is problematic in 2018, there’s a lot of me that you won’t understand. It’s as simple as that. … You know what was a long time ago? Plantations.” Two months later, the duo sparked romance rumors when they were spotted together several times. James confirmed that they were back together at the time. Since then, Kirkconnell opened up more about dealing with the scandal and the embarrassment she felt before the photos even resurfaced. “Between that and just a lot of other things about Greek life, I was like, ‘I don’t wanna be a part of this anymore,’ and I dropped out after that,” the reality star shared during an Instagram Live with From Privilege to Progress in August 2021. “That’s the first time my eyes opened about ‘OK, there’s a difference between being not racist and anti-racist.’” It took time for Kirkconnell to see the issues about the event because at the time she “was completely ignorant” to the fact that it was “racist.” "I’m so ashamed that I basically participated in that unknowingly because I’m sitting here in my own little privileged, selfish world just thinking, ‘Oh, we just put dresses on to go take a photo op,’” she detailed, noting that she “didn’t think anything about it because it didn’t affect me personally.” Scroll down for everything that James and Kirkconnell have said about the scandal: [podcast_block]

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Everything Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell Have Said About Her Controversial 'Bachelor' Scandal

Dealing with the past. Matt James and Rachael Kirkconnell may have headed off to their happy ending after filming season 25 of The Bachelor, but the couple quickly found themselves dealing with lots of obstacles. Viewers watched sparks fly between the graphic designer and the former football player as they got to know each other better, but Kirkconnell found herself making headlines off screen for past racially insensitive actions. After photos of Kirkconnell attending an “Old South”-themed frat party in 2018 went viral online, the Georgia native apologized for her past choices. "While there have been rumors circulating, there have also been truths that have come to light that I need to address. I hear you, and I'm here to say I was wrong," she wrote via Instagram in February 2021. "At one point, I didn't recognize how offensive and racist my actions were, but that doesn't excuse them. My age or when it happened does not excuse anything. They are not acceptable or OK in any sense. I was ignorant, but my ignorance was racist." At that time, Chris Harrison faced backlash when he asked fans to have “grace” for Kirkconnell amid the scandal. Harrison eventually announced his exit from the Bachelor franchise. Kirkconnell went on to reiterate that she was putting in the work and standing by her apology after some questioned why she even needed to say anything. [jwplayer NE9ZI0Jz-zhNYySv2] "My statement and apology is for the people of color that i have offended, if you do not identify as BIPOC then it is not your apology to accept or not. please be respectful to those who have been affected," she via Instagram Story several days after her first post on the subject. That same month, James decided to break up with Kirkconnell in order for her to do the work when it came to educating herself. During the After the Final Rose special, the businessman confirmed their split and explained how he felt when he saw her past photos. “As someone who grew up in the South, it takes me to a place that I don’t often like to think about. I wasn’t OK. It was in that moment and the conversation that I had, that Rachael might not understand what it means to be Black in America,” he said in March 2021. “It’s heartbreaking. If you don’t understand that something like that is problematic in 2018, there’s a lot of me that you won’t understand. It’s as simple as that. … You know what was a long time ago? Plantations.” Two months later, the duo sparked romance rumors when they were spotted together several times. James confirmed that they were back together at the time. Since then, Kirkconnell opened up more about dealing with the scandal and the embarrassment she felt before the photos even resurfaced. “Between that and just a lot of other things about Greek life, I was like, ‘I don’t wanna be a part of this anymore,’ and I dropped out after that,” the reality star shared during an Instagram Live with From Privilege to Progress in August 2021. “That’s the first time my eyes opened about ‘OK, there’s a difference between being not racist and anti-racist.’” It took time for Kirkconnell to see the issues about the event because at the time she “was completely ignorant” to the fact that it was “racist.” "I’m so ashamed that I basically participated in that unknowingly because I’m sitting here in my own little privileged, selfish world just thinking, ‘Oh, we just put dresses on to go take a photo op,’” she detailed, noting that she “didn’t think anything about it because it didn’t affect me personally.” Scroll down for everything that James and Kirkconnell have said about the scandal: [podcast_block]

Credit: ABC/Billy Kidd

Dealing With the Truth

After Kirkconnell's racially insensitive posts made the rounds on social media, the North Carolina native acknowledged the controversy prior to the graphic designer breaking her silence.

"I have not spoken to anybody since the show ended, but I would say that you have to be really careful about what you are doing on social media," James told Entertainment Tonight in February 2021. "Rumors are dark and nasty and can ruin people's lives. So I would give people the benefit of the doubt, and hopefully, she will have her time to speak on that."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Breaking Her Silence

As season 25 of the ABC series continued to air, Kirkconnell took to social media to apologize for her past choices after photos resurfaced online of her attending a plantation-themed fraternity party.

“I am sorry to the communities and individuals that my actions harmed and offended. I am ashamed about my lack of education, but it is no one’s responsibility to educate me," she wrote via Instagram in February. "I am learning and will continue to learn how to be antiracist, because it’s important to speak up in the moment and not after you’re called out. If you are a person who doesn’t understand the offense in question, I urge you to learn from my mistakes and encourage you to use them as a teachable moment.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Speaking Out

As the season started to wrap up on screen, James confronted the bigger situation happening off screen.

“The past few weeks have been some of the most challenging of my life, and while there are several episodes left of the season,” the North Carolina native posted via Instagram in February 2021. “It is important that I take the time to address the troubling information that has come to light since we wrapped filming."

The former reality star added he was  "learning about these situations in real time" as the fans watched him fall in love on the show.

"It has also pushed me to reevaluate and process what my experience on The Bachelor represents, not just for me, but for all the contestants of color, especially the Black contestants of this season and seasons past, and for you, the viewers at home," he said at the time. "I will continue to process this experience, and you will hear more from me in the end. My greatest prayer is that this is an infection point that results in real and institutional change for the better."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Holding Others Accountable

The season 25 contestant took to social media to confront the topic of “white people stepping up and taking accountability” for their actions.

“If you are in my comments or defending me anywhere, telling people that I did nothing wrong, that there’s nothing to be hurt about, there’s nothing to be angry about or offended about, please stop,” she wrote via Instagram in February 2021. “That’s not our place to tell people what they can and can’t be offended about. That’s wrong, and that’s part of the problem.”

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

Confronting the Past

During the After the Final Rose special, Kirkconnell looked back at the choices that led to her attending the fraternity party.

"I see someone who was living in ignorance without even thinking about who it would be hurting. I never once asked myself at any point, like, 'What's the tradition behind this? What does this represent? Why do we wear those dresses?'" she explained at the time.

For Kirkconnell, there was "no excuse" for her deciding to take part in that.

"I'm not gonna sit here and say I didn't know any better, because I could have easily asked myself those questions," she clarified. "I never took the time to make that connection, because if I would have taken the time, I easily could've understood what was wrong with it."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Standing His Ground

After the After the Final Rose special, the TV personality confirmed that the pair had parted ways following the scandal.

“If you don’t understand why something like that is problematic in 2018, there’s a lot of me that you won’t understand,” he explained about his decision to break up. “It’s as simple as that.”

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

Dealing With Change

As the After the Final Rose special aired, Kirkconnell reflected on her relationship with James after season 25 of The Bachelor.

“I’ll always be hopeful and believe what’s meant to be will be,” she wrote via Instagram in March 2021. “At the least, i hope tonight sparks conversations and a level of understanding. i hope it opens your mind to unlearning bias, to educating yourself, and gives you the push to initiate change. there are so many actions you can take, but i believe it starts within the small corners of your life, and having these conversations with those around you. it can’t happen over night and will be a never-ending ride, but i encourage you to take the leap and make a difference."

The graphic designer also reflected on how her scandal took away from the other contestants and what they had to offer.

“This was supposed to be a monumental season, and one of the biggest disappointments has been the overshadowing of these beautiful women and their stories," she added. "They are some of the strongest, most brilliant, most extraordinary women and i was lucky enough to have met them. you all deserve more, but i promise to always stand by and support each of you in any way i can.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Reflecting on Everything

James opened up about seeing Kirkconnell for the first time since he made the choice to end things.

"I felt the weight of everything that I was carrying throughout the season and with what we were dealing with as a country and having to explain that, why I think it's problematic to me and our relationship, which was extremely difficult," he said on Good Morning America in March 2021.

James also admitted that there should have been more attempts to have difficult conversations with the white women on the show.

“I think that a lot of time spent during filming and having those conversations [about race] was amongst the women of color,” he mentioned. “I think we could’ve had those conversations amongst the white women who were there as well. Hindsight is 20/20, but I probably should’ve asked more clarifying questions.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Getting Honest

In his first interview after the ABC show wrapped, James recalled Kirkconnell calling him directly to discuss the scandal as it was making headlines.

"You don't want to think that someone knows your person better than you, so I'm taking everything with a grain of salt. As it is continuing to roll out, it just hits a head," he said in an episode of “The Bill Simmons” podcast in March 2021. "It continued to come up again, again, and then when it's addressed formally in the statement that Rachael put out, it's a devastating blow. It's heartbreaking because everything is real at that moment. It's no longer rumors. It's real."

The former reality star also noted that Kirkconnell would have to "put in the work" while he takes "a step back" from their relationship.

“I forgave her when she told me, but that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed, that I don't want her to do better," he shared at the time. "For that to take place I have to take a step back and let her do that."

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

Working Through Her Decisions

In August 2021, Kirkconnell admitted that she was embarrassed about the photos of her attending the plantation-themed fraternity party years before they resurfaced but tried to justify the reasoning behind it.

“If I had to think about it at the time, I was probably just thinking, ‘OK, just some super traditional fraternity and they probably just want to continue the tradition of what they used to wear when the fraternity was founded,’” she said during an Instagram Live with From Privilege to Progress.

After taking accountability for her past decisions, the graphic designer "lost some friends along the way," which she felt was part of the steps she needed to take in her life.

“I don’t speak to certain family members anymore because that was probably the first time in my life I realized I need to stop standing aside and I need to speak up and do something because … we should have been doing this for years and years,” she added.