Ever since Ryan Reynolds joined Twitter in 2014, the low-key, A-list hunk has been the social-media platform’s funniest, most merciless troll! We thought Chrissy Teigen was our favorite shady star, but after reading the below tweets, the Deadpool actor, 40, may be the shadiest of them all! No one who is in Reynolds’ mentions is safe from his sass, but perhaps the best sources for his material are his daughters, wife Blake Lively and himself!
Blake Lively’s hubby clearly uses humor when trying to cope with the hardships of fatherhood. Check out his most LOL-worthy tweets about the perils of being a dad to James, 2 and Ines, 4 months, below.
I’d walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 11, 2015
Damn it’s hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016
Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
This morning, my daughter said, “quiche” which means she’s smart, hungry and an asshole.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 21, 2016
I watched Frozen without my two year old this morning. Despair reveals itself in many forms.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 9, 2016
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 7, 2016
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke’s on her. She’ll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
The mobile above my daughter’s crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 20, 2016
On our 6am walk, my daughter asked where the moon goes each morning. I let her know it’s in heaven, visiting daddy’s freedom.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 16, 2016
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
What’s better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 2, 2016
The Golden Globe nominee also loves taking jabs at himself, and has mastered the art of #selfshade
“@Flipzi: @VancityReynolds can i just say, I loved #RIPD.” Yes. But I’d whisper if I were you.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) February 22, 2015
Different hair colors. Ryan Gosling has light BLOND hair. And Ryan Reynolds is a cunt. https://t.co/L7BZnh1cGD
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 25, 2015
Zayn isn’t on the Graham Norton show with me anymore. I’ll still go… But obviously I got my lips done for nothing. #DeadpoolDoesLondon
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 27, 2016
Just want to wish Billy Ray Cyrus the most special, magical birthday ever. I love you with all my heart. Also, Happy Birthday to my wife.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 25, 2016
My brother used the word, “fleek” in a sentence, and I had trouble listening to the rest of our relationship.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) May 5, 2016
So cute. Asked my mom out to lunch and she yelled, “Squad-Goals!”. I laughed pretty hard before never ever seeing her again.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 21, 2015
Besides my Uncle Dale, there should be a superhero who only wears boots, a cape and way too much lip-gloss.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 21, 2016
“Kids, if you can guess where I’m hiding this lightbulb, you not only win, but get to call me an ambulance.” –Uncle Dale. My 4th birthday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 10, 2015
Mom, please get off Twitter. Now. https://t.co/bcRJDxe8cH
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 27, 2015
If you want your own burn from Reynolds, try tweeting him @VancityReynolds, he has been known to reply to fans! Be warned!
