Colin Jost Reveals Plans for a Baby With Scarlett Johansson, When He’ll Leave ‘SNL’ and More in New Memoir: Revelations

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Colin Jost Reveals Plans for a Baby With Scarlett Johansson, When He'll Leave 'SNL' and More in New Memoir: Revelations

Colin Jost is telling all. In his new memoir, A Very Punchable Face, the comedian, 38, opens up about his life — from growing up in Staten Island to landing a job at Saturday Night Live to getting engaged to Scarlett Johansson. He will be ready to move on "in the near future" from his job at the NBC variety show, where he currently is a head writer, he says in the book. "I've basically built an emotional escape hatch in my work and in my relationships, and my greatest fear — besides my trypophobia, or fear of holes — is leaving SNL and never finding anything I like doing more than SNL," Jost, who joined the show in 2014, writes in the book. "The other part about leaving SNL is that it means growing up. Because no one who works at SNL is really an adult." Jost noted that his relationship with the Marriage Story actress, to whom he proposed in May 2019, has also changed his perspective on that. "It's certainly not a good place to work while you're raising a family or nurturing a healthy relationship," the comedian writes. "I've started to notice subtle changes in my life, like wanting to spend time with people who don't work at SNL. Or wanting to attend human activities like birthdays, weddings, and dinners that start before 10 p.m. ... I've met someone I love and who I feel more comfortable with than I ever have before. I feel more confident committing to what I'm working on and standing by whatever I create, regardless of whether people like it or not." [jwplayer UlBVqPen] The writer is also "ready to sleep semi-regular hours and write without constant swirling pressure of a live show every Saturday night," he explains, "Working at SNL is a drug — it's highly addictive, and if I don't stop soon I think my mind will be wrapped in an irrevocable way. And while whatever I do next will almost certainly be less fun than SNL, it could also be better in some way I never expected." Jost shares that he's grown a ton since he began at Saturday Night Live, so much so, that “I’ve even woken up on a Sunday after a show and thought, 'I would love to be raising a baby right now!'" Scroll through the gallery below for more revelations from the book. [podcast_block]

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He Did Crew at Harvard With the Winklevoss Twins

Remember the twins played by Armie Hammer in The Social Network? Jost rowed with the internet entrepreneurs, as he "walked on" to the team, "which is what they call it when the coach humors you and lets you join the team, mostly for his own entertainment." However, it paid off: "Crew taught me discipline, and how to stay calm and mentally sharp even when I was physically exhausted, which is a skill I still use at SNL."

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His Biggest Fears

Jost mentions fears many times in the book, including "speaking — not public speaking, but regular speaking" and "being boring."

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He Has 6 Sets of Stitches in His Face

Through the years, the actor has been in multiple accidents, each causing him to get stitches — all on his face. The incidents include a surfing accident, hitting a metal table with his face in kindergarten and fighting with his brothers.

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He Pooped His Pants a Lot

One eight-page chapter is titled, "Okay, So Maybe I’ve S--t My Pants a Couple Times." Inside, the former Kappa Mikey writer explains that he pooped his pants "like five times" during the five years after graduating from college.

"I've s--t my pants in: a college classroom, the offices at Saturday Night Live at 30 Rockefeller Center, a car on the way to the airport, a movie theater during a first date, a comedy club right after I performed, a comedy club right before I performed, and — perhaps most impressively — in my own home," the Harvard grad writes.

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He Was 'Shaggy' When He Met ScarJo

Jost recalls meeting his now-fiancée in 2006, when she hosted Saturday Night Live. "I got eight sketches on the show my first year, including one cold open and a parody of MTV's My Super Sweet Sixteen, starring first-time host Scarlett Johansson. She has just turned 20 and I was 23, but in terms of status and maturing she was here [holds hand above head] and I was here [ holds hand one inch off ground]," he pens. "She claims that she remembers thinking I was 'cute,' but I know what I looked like and that's not the word I would have used. ('Shaggy' would have been generous. 'Slovenly,' more accurate)."

He notes that he remembers her as "beautiful, smart, sweet and intimidatingly sophisticated" with "a grace and a smile that I've still never seen in any other human."

He recalls, "The only line I remember from the sketch is when Scarlett's bratty character says, 'This party is literally worse than the Holocaust.' That was my Shakespearean sonnet for the woman I would one day fall in love with."

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Will Ferrell Is His Favorite Host

Although he says he has three least-favorite SNL hosts, he refuses to name them. However, Ferrell, 52, is his favorite.

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The First Time He Saw Coke Was at SNL

Although he has a fear of alcohol due to seeing friends and families lose everything because of it, Jost didn't come across hard drugs until he was working at NBC.

"Drugs always scared me because I was worried that I would like them and they would derail my entire life," he pens. "I never smoked weed until college and I never even saw cocaine until I was 27 and a writer's assistant at SNL walked into my office and said, 'Do you mind if I do coke in here?' I was truly honored."

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Is Russell Crowe the Worst?

Jost goes into detail about the week that Donald Trump was hosting, in the middle of running for office, calling it the "most surreal week" he's had.

"The first thing Donald Trump said to me when he walked into my office was: 'I like you. You got that good face.' Say what you will about the man, but he knows how to make an entrance," the How to Be Single star writes. "By the end of the week, I think most people at our show thought, 'Huh. This guy isn't a monster after all.' There have certainly been other hosts who left with way worse reputations. (No, I will not tell you who they are. But their initials are R.C., and then after the R is an 'ussel,' and after the C is a 'rowe.')"