The world according to Amanda Bynes is an interesting place.
The 27-year-old retired actress has been candid about having plastic surgery and being unhappy with her appearance. But now, as she prepares to go under the knife again this week, she's offering up a bizarre reason for her multiple nose job surgeries, boldly declaring that it's to correct a "birth defect," and calling herself a "hero" for having rhinoplasty.
"I was born with a webbing in between my eyes. That was a birth defect that I had surgically removed! I've never been more excited!" she tweeted on Wednesday. "Now I need a few more surgeries to shave the bridge down to correct the rest of my nose so I can start the next chapter of my career! Music! "
"I consider myself to be a hero to have suffered 27 years with a birth defect and to just now have it surgically removed," she continued. "I had to share my story with you so the media would stop using old photos of me and stop writing lies about me having odd behavior when I was just embarrassed to share the fact that I had a birth defect. As soon as I had it removed I couldn't wait to talk about it!"
Bynes went on to say that her next procedure is scheduled for this Saturday - and compared her nose job to cleft lip repair.
"My doctors are heroes who also correct kids who have cleft lip - something as traumatic as webbing in between your eyes! I wanted to share my story with you to prove that I'm not crazy, I was just embarrassed," she wrote. "Surgery is a complete miracle for me - nothing can hold you back from living out your dreams. There's a surgery for everything that's wrong with you!"
As for the music career she referenced, we're taking a "we'll believe it when we see it" attitude. After all, she announced just last year that she had moved to Manhattan to follow her dreams of becoming a... designer! Now she keeps tweeting about a record deal she's ready to ink, but she's been vague on the company she's allegedly taking to.
We know who it won't be with though. There was buzz the former child star would be collaborating with Wyclef Jean on a possible album, according to Chinga Chang Records CEO Dan Herman. The Fugees star later flat out denied that story - and Bynes did as well in her Twitter tirade, writing, "I never spoke to anyone at Chinga Changa Records. I got an offer for a bigger record deal that I'm taking as soon I get my surgeries!"
Perhaps her real focus should be on two bigger events coming up: her court dates. She's expected to face a judge in New York City on July 9 to answer to various charges stemming from her alleged bong-throwing debacle in May. Then, on July 18, she has a date with justice in Los Angeles, a result of her 2012 DUI arrest.
Here's hoping she's all healed and feeling good by the time those dates roll around.
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