Paradise is living up to its name! Well, for some of the Bachelor in Paradise contestants, at least. The Aug. 24 episode of the ABC reality show proved that the sunny Mexico set had also become hell for others. Kirk and Carly, Joshua and Tenley, Jade and Tanner, and Mikey and Juelia were all basking in the glow of romance — while new couples Dan and Amber and Nick and Ashley S. were kindling some flames. But Ashley I. (who had been dumped by Jared) and Joe (who had been dumped by Samantha) were nothing short of miserable. (And, ICYMI, JJ was no longer around, having sent himself home to pursue a girl in Colorado the night before.)
Ashley I. tried to "commiserate" with her costars about how unhappy they were. "Let's go have sucky days together," she suggested. "It's like, I held it together for an hour but now I'm just ready to go back to my room and just, like, be sad all day."
Joe wasn't really offering a shoulder to cry on, though. "Just let it go," he told a tearful Ashley S. before adding, "I'm not a very emotional guy, but s— happens." Once she got the message that he wasn't interested in hearing her pain, she sought comfort from Ashley I. and Juelia.
"I'm going to be ruined, like, forever," Ashley S. cried to her two gal pals, who did their best to make her feel better, but didn't seem to succeed.
Mikey and Juelia Get Down in Guadalajara
When Mikey got a date card, he didn't hesitate to ask Juelia to join him. The pair flew on a private plane down to Guadalajara, where they took in a pro-wrestling match and even got to play around in the ring after the stadium had cleared. (It certainly wasn't the most romantic date in Paradise so far, but they both seemed to enjoy it.)
Ultimately, they decided to forgo their individual rooms to spend the night together, but Juelia made Mikey promise he would be a gentleman (i.e. she wasn't going to sleep with him).
"Juelia has been through a lot in her life and I think her positivity and her great attitude is unbelievable considering what she's been through," Mikey said of the bubbly blonde.
For her part, Juelia declared, "Mikey is a better guy than Joe. Mikey is a man and Joe is a boy. Today could be the start of something great."
Textgate Continues
Meanwhile, back in Paradise, Joe continued to fester over what Sam had done. "She said, 'Do whatever it takes to get a rose because I want to meet you.' And now that I did that, she wants no part of it. She's not taking any credit for any of the drama and now it's all been pinned on me. Samantha needs to own up to everything and set the record straight," Joe said to the camera.
He seemed to get angrier the longer he talked, and finally laid out Sam's choices, according to him. "She has two options: Either we can go on with it and she can be lovey-dovey on me and we can get engaged and make a nice happy love story, or she can crash and burn." (The fact that he still wanted Sam to be "lovey-dovey" on him at this point seemed rather shocking, but the heart wants what the heart wants.)
Joe then pulled Samantha aside to threaten her. "The text message, 'Do whatever it takes to get a rose,' that's not going to look good when people see that," he said, adding that it didn't have to be that way.
But when she continued to take zero responsibility, Joe couldn't do much but reiterate, "It's going to be bad, Samantha. I'm just telling you."
Joe (Still) Can't Quit Samantha
Despite his tough talk, however, Joe couldn't seem to get Sam out of his system. Ashley I. was on hand to give him some advice (err, not sure she's the person to take advice from on this topic, but you never know). Hearing Joe say that he wanted a clean start with the raven-haired beauty, Ashley I. suggested he take that approach very literally and reintroduce himself.
While sitting by a bonfire, he walked over the Sam and said, "Hi, I'm Joe. I think you're the prettiest girl on the beach," just like Ashley I. told him to!
At first, Samantha seemed charmed by Joe and said a cheerful "Thank you!" but as he tried to continue the conversation she made it clear that she wanted no part of it. That's when Justin arrived in Paradise.
Justin Makes a Play for Samantha
Pretty much the minute he arrived in Paradise, Justin was all about Sam. Seeing the writing on the wall, Joe pulled Justin aside and asked him directly not to take Samantha on a date. Roughly five seconds later, Justin pulled Samantha aside, complimented her eyes and her conversation skills, and asked her out.
"If Sam accepts this date with Justin, Joe is going to go straight Kentucky crazy!" Ashley I. predicted with a smile. She wasn't the only one who thought Sam going out with Justin would push Joe over the edge.
Dan was torn over whether he wanted Sam to accept Justin's invitation or not because on one hand, he wanted to get to know Sam better himself (sorry, Amber!), but on the other, he thought it would be great to see Joe "just crumble."
Sam did decide to speak to Joe before flitting off into the sunset with Justin, saying, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you." She went on to explain, "I felt so strong, but it also went to such a low point."
Joe wasn't really listening, though (shocker!). "At the end of this, you're going to end up with me in the real world!" he argued.
"I love that you feel that way," she said softly, "but I need to feel that way." (Translation: There is zero chance you two are going to end up together in the real world, Joe.)
Joe tried to suggest they start fresh (guy just doesn't give up), but Samantha shut that down with a simple, "No." Crushed, Joe told her, repeatedly, that she was out of his league.
"Why did I think a girl like that would fall for me? Because it doesn't happen," Joe said to the camera. "You can't trust a c—." He really has a way with words.
Tell Us: Do you think Samantha and Justin will hit it off?
