Brad Kearns learned an important lesson: Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. When Kearns’ wife, Sarah, was admitted to a hospital for liver failure, the Australia-based dad — who works more than 40 hours a week managing a gym — was left to care for their sons Knox, 2, and Finn, 7 weeks.
“Today I had to be the mum,” the 27-year-old wrote on Sunday, May 29, in a Facebook post that has since gone viral. “You know when your wife always says ‘I wish I could be the dad’ and you’re like … It’s the same thing…”
Kearns went on to detail the hilarious struggles he faced over the next 16 hours. Knox asked for a DVD by roaring at him, while Finn communicated “by way of the hot and cold guessing game, crying for hot and emphatic crying for cold.” For dinner, Knox ate “2 minute noodles.”
“As the night rolls on and my patience wears thin; I reduce myself to keeping Knox quiet by allowing him to place stickers on my (very hairy) legs,” wrote Kearns. “He was being quiet… ‘It’s okay, I can shave them off in the morning’ was the thought. ‘Just don’t wake Finn.’”
But Finn did wake: at 10:30 p.m., 12 a.m., 1:45 a.m. and 3:30 a.m. “Did you know sleep deprivation was a form of torture?” Kearns asked in his rant, which has been shared more than 17,000 times.
The next day, the frazzled father attempted to do housework. “And by that I mean I spent the next 2 hours … holding Finn, in a spiral of insomnia induced hallucinations allowing Knox to help himself to an assortment of fruit sticks.” When his mother-in-law arrived, Kearns was forced to admit he couldn’t handle his wife’s job.
“So there I was; unshaven, hair a mess, wearing the pants and socks from the day before and a hoodie covering up the fact I had no shirt on. Hadn’t showered, not yet brushed my teeth,” Kearns wrote. “Knox comes running out in his sleeping bag asking for a new Yoghurt muesli bar to be opened. I open the door to [my mother-in-law] to reveal the fact that Knox’s noodles were still in a bowl on the table, stickers stuck to the goddamn lounge, the house an absolute mess. It was in that moment I knew I was defeated.”
Kearns — who is on day five of being mom— tells Us Weekly things are looking up. “I’m actually doing OK, he says. “The routine is becoming easier.”
As for Sarah, “she is feeling terrible,” Kearns tells Us. “She is about to go into surgery for gallbladder and liver. Home time depends on the outcome of the surgery.”
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