Mom Has Internet in Stitches With Brutally Honest Christmas Card

Christmas Card
Ellen Denuto/Getty Images

It’s that time of year where refrigerators across America are plastered with pictures of smiling families. But one mom named Lisa Allen went a different route with her holiday card. Hers —which was recently shared on Reddit — features no photo but rather a brutally honest update on her husband Tom and their three children Maddy, 18, Hunter, 9, and Landon, 3.

According to Lisa, Landon “whines all the time and doesn’t go to sleep when he’s told.” He also has a temper. “Cries when he doesn’t get Gushers after dinner,” she wrote. “Most of the artwork he brings home from church nursery is awful. Our pride and joy (and source of our drinking problem).”

Hunter, the middle child, who Lisa describes as “energetic yet surprising unathletic,” was just cut from a soccer team that doesn’t even keep score in their games. “I know . . . how does that even happen?!” she wondered. “Spends most of his time on his iPad and said his first swear word this year! Super exciting!”

Then it’s Maddy’s turn. She’s apparently notorious for going over her cell phone data every month. “Was grounded for two weeks this fall after she snuck a guy in her window to ‘watch a movie,’” Lisa shared. “Got fired from Sephora after her telling her boss ‘just because I’m on the schedule doesn’t mean I have to show up.’” 

Lisa doesn’t provide any details on her own year, but wants friends to know that after 41 years of marriage, Tom still tucks his t-shirts into jeans and just took money from their retirement account to purchase a fishing boat. And just in case you were wondering: “His golf shoes are currently on the steps after I told him three times to take them upstairs.”

Reddit users couldn’t get enough of Lisa’s honesty. “I genuinely love this!” wrote one person. Added another: “I believe all Christmas cards should be like this lol.”

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