Emilie Kiser gave an update on how she’s been coping with grief since losing her son Trigg in May 2025.
Kiser, 27, took to TikTok on Thursday, October 1, to open up about how she’s been navigating life since Trigg’s drowning accident while being pregnant with her third baby. She began the video by sharing that she plans to do check-ins every “so often,” but that it felt “scary” for her to talk about.
“I’ve almost used that as my excuse to not talk about it at all on here. I don’t think it’s good for me mentally to [not talk about it],” she said. “Constantly, every day I’m just hit with this reality that this is my life and that I can’t believe that this is my life. I don’t think the shock of losing my son will ever go away. I don’t expect it to and I don’t want it to; it just constantly hits me that I don’t know how I’m surviving.”
She continued while getting choked up, “I am mentally having such a hard time with this pregnancy. It’s not because I’m struggling physically; there are so many mental battles that come with being pregnant after losing Trigg.”
Emilie, who announced in July that she and her husband Brady Kiser are expanding their family, said she’s “continually heartbroken” that Trigg is not here but sees “this next baby” as a “blessing.”
@emiliekiser I’m so grateful for all of you who check in on me, it really means a lot🫶🏼 I’m hoping I can get more comfortable as time goes on with opening up however I choose and hopefully help others who are struggling ❤️🩹 Love you guys so much.
“I truly don’t know how I would be surviving without my son Teddy being here,” she said. “Genuinely, he keeps me going each and every morning.”
Emilie went on to say that she’s expecting her postpartum journey to be “depressing” and to give her a sense of deja vu because she “already lived this postpartum experience” with her son Teddy. (She was only five months postpartum after welcoming Teddy when Trigg died in March 2025.)
“I don’t know how triggering it’s going to be for me to give birth at the hospital. I have not been at a hospital since I lost my son,” the influencer added. “I can only imagine how much of a mind f*** that’s going to be.”
A thought she is bound to have is Trigg being unable to meet Teddy when Teddy is introduced to her newborn, she explained. “I wish he was here,” Emilie added.
“I don’t think people understand the magnitude of you losing a child and are expected to within a very short amount of time say goodbye to a piece of your heart,” Emilie continued. “You have that hole forever.”
“I will forever live in a state of flight or fight. Every month is this creeping milestone that you wish you never had to live,” she continued, noting that no holidays “feel the same.”
Another thing she said she’s been struggling with was seeing Trigg’s friends go back to school and watching them “enter the next stages of life.”
Emilie also opened up about having “bittersweet moments” with Teddy, such as watching Disney’s Cars, which was one of Trigg’s favorite movies.
“It’s beautiful to watch your living children be interested in the same things that your child that passed away was,” Emilie gushed, noting that “over time” she and Brady, 29, have “integrated” many of Trigg’s belongings into Teddy’s life. “It has been so special to watch him play with his brother’s stuff. We talk about him so often, especially with Teddy,” she added.
“I’m so grateful for all of you who check in on me, it really means a lot🫶🏼,” Emilie captioned the post. “I’m hoping I can get more comfortable as time goes on with opening up however I choose and hopefully help others who are struggling ❤️🩹 Love you guys so much.”
