James Van Der Beek’s wife, Kimberly Van Der Beek, shared a heartfelt message about grief three months after the actor’s death.
“Yesterday was three months since we lost @vanderjames. To say I’m heartbroken is a severe understatement,” Kimberly, 44, wrote via Instagram on Tuesday, May 12, alongside a series of photos from her life with James and their six children. “Words just don’t capture what grief is.”
Kimberly explained, “The comforts of shock have worn off. The reality is settling in … and I miss him. We all miss him. Yet, there is a different kind of magic in the air.”
The actress, who married James in 2010, noted that while her husband is no longer physically by her side, his spirit lives on.
“I feel him. I know him more deeply,” Kimberly said of her bond with James since his death in February following a battle with colorectal cancer. He was 48.
“My conscious connection to God has deepened. The veils of the universe have thinned. And I trust that this is the path me and my family have always been intended to walk,” his widow continued.
Kimberly continued by thanking those who have lifted her and her children up since James’ death, calling the outpouring of support “tremendous.”
“It’s held our family in the most beautiful of ways. You all went absolutely above and beyond anything I could have ever expected in supporting us and honoring James,” she concluded. “I am deeply grateful. There is so much more to share here. And in time — I will.”
James’ loved ones confirmed on February 11 that he died after meeting his final days with “courage, faith and grace.”. The Dawson’s Creek alum’s death came less than two years after he announced in November 2024 that he was diagnosed with stage III colorectal cancer.
“Our beloved James David Van Der Beek passed peacefully this morning,” a statement from his family shared via the actor’s Instagram read at the time. “There is much to share regarding his wishes, love for humanity and the sacredness of time. Those days will come. For now we ask for peaceful privacy as we grieve our loving husband, father, son, brother, and friend.”
One week later, Kimberly revealed that she and James had renewed their vows surrounded by their inner circle.
“We decided two days beforehand and our friends got us new rings, filled our bedroom with flowers and candles and we renewed our vows from bed,” Kimberly told People on February 17.
Kimberly shared that the “simple and beautiful” ceremony included several friends and family members. She added that musician Poranguí was on hand and played the “most beautiful music,” including “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
In the months since his death, fans and celebrity friends have reflected on some of their favorite memories with the beloved actor.
“I think it hits in a variety of different ways, and so for me, as a father now, I think the enormity of that tragedy for his family hits me in a very different way than just as a colleague, so I think processing is ongoing,” Joshua Jackson, who starred on Dawson’s Creek with James, said during a March 10 appearance on the Today show. “He and I shared this amazing time where that [Dawson’s Creek] clip comes from at a very young point in our life and it was formational for us, and I know both of us look back on that time with great fondness.”
Kimberly, for her part, has paid tribute to her late husband on different milestones for their family, including daughter Emilia’s 10th birthday in late March. (The couple also share daughters Olivia, 15, Annabel, 12, and Gwendolyn, 7, and sons Joshua, 13, and Jeremiah, 4.)
“Just a few heavenly months ago. Missing you my love,” Kimberly wrote via her Instagram Story on March 28, sharing a picture of James cuddling up to Emilia.
