Louis Tomlinson Wanted to ‘Throw the Towel in’ When His Mom Died

Louis Tomlinson opened up about the death of his mom, Johannah Deakin, during an appearance on SiriusXM’s Hits 1 in Hollywood on Wednesday, January 18. Listen to the interview above.

“It’s not really something I feel 100 percent comfortable talking too much about, but just quickly, when I first found out about the news I did kind of want to throw the towel in,” Tomlinson, 25, recalled of the “tough” situation. “But it was my mum who said to me that I just have to keep going. She told me very sternly that she wanted me to.”

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As previously reported, Deakin died on December 7 at age 43 following a battle with leukemia. Three days later, the British star tweeted about the “incredible” support he had received in the aftermath of her passing.

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Since then, Tomlinson has continued to work in the studio and raising his 11-month-old son, Freddie. He and stylist friend Briana Jungwirth welcomed the baby boy last January.

Louis Tomlinson visits the Launch of 'Hits 1 in Hollywood' on SiriusXM Hits 1 at the SiriusXM Los Angeles Studios on January 17, 2017 in Los Angeles, California.
Louis Tomlinson visits the Launch of ‘Hits 1 in Hollywood’ on SiriusXM Hits 1 at the SiriusXM Los Angeles Studios on January 17, 2017, in Los Angeles, California. Vivien Killilea/Getty Images

“I don’t think [Freddie’s] changed my writing too much. It’s not as if I’m writing songs about my son. I mean, I love him, obviously. It’s affected how I am as a person a little bit. I mean, I’d like to say it’s made me a bit more mature. I don’t know if that’s actually true,” Tomlinson said of fatherhood on Wednesday. “I’ve sang to him a couple of times and they are nice lullabies.”

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Asked if he wants more children, he replied: “Definitely in the future, yeah. But at the moment I’ve got Freddie and I’m trying to stay career-driven.”

Tomlinson’s not the only former One Directioner with new music. Niall Horan released his first solo single, “This Town,” in September, and Zayn Malik dropped his solo debut album, Mind of Mine, back in March. He and Taylor Swift also recently teamed up for the tune “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” which will be featured on the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack.

Tomlinson had a brief falling out with Malik when the 24-year-old left the band in March 2015, but the two have recently reconnected. “It’s a strange feeling, but it’s nice,” Tomlinson said of hearing Malik’s songs on the radio. “Me and Zayn have spoken recently. It’s at the point where you can be happy for each other. Things have happened in the past, of course, [but] it’s great. His first song [“Pillowtalk”] is an absolute smash.”

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