Kevin McCallister is just as ruthless with his pranks these days — and crankier than ever! Macaulay Culkin reprised his Home Alone role for a hilarious (and very bizarre!) NSFW video for a web series called :DRYVRS.
Culkin played the lovable yet mischievous kid in the classic 1990 John Hughes comedy and its 1992 sequel. In the new project, the former child star, as Kevin, recalls the horror it was to accidentally be left at home all by his lonesome while his parents, Peter and Kate (John Heard and Catherine O'Hara), obnoxious big brother, Buzz (Devin Ratray), and more jetted off to a holiday getaway.
"How about this? It's Christmastime. It's f–king Christmas. And your whole family goes on vacation, whole family, and they forget their 8-year-old f–king son,” Culkin, 35, says to his buddy. "They remembered my bastard of a brother, but they forget me, the cutest f–king 8-year-old in the universe."
Clad in a red plaid shirt — reminiscent of Kevin's red sweater — Culkin then brings up the burglars, Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern), that gave him so much trouble. (Afterward, he tackles yet another robber by wrapping him in Christmas lights!)
"I had to fend off my house from two psychopath home invaders," he says, looking terrified. "I still have nightmares about this bald weirdo dude chasing me."
But there's so much more pain. His loved ones may have forgotten him in the attic (sleeping without cousin Fuller, because he wets the bed), but he seems even more upset that no one left him a cheese slice for dinner that one night.
"My house was such a zoo," he tearfully says. "I couldn't even eat a slice of pizza without going to war."
For more, watch the video above!
Sign up now for the Us Weekly newsletter to get breaking celebrity news, hot pics and more delivered straight to your inbox!