Pop the champagne because the The Real Housewives of Orange County were celebrating this week! On the June 22 episode, Heather Dubrow invited the fellow Housewives to Napa to partake in the launch of her new sparkling wine, Colette.
It was a relatively calm trip for the women, mainly filled with drunken shenanigans. However, it was still a Housewives trip, so “relatively calm” means only one or two fights. So just where do they all stand after the appropriately titled “Whine Country”? Read our recap to find out!
Heather Dubrow
It was Heather’s time to shine this week as she gathered all of her friends and frenemies to celebrate the launch of her new sparkling wine. And while the cake at her party was sadly fake, the joy Heather felt was real. “I love bubbles and I love my friends!” she proclaimed before getting adorably drunk to Tamra Judge’s delight.
Not all was well though, as she had to take the time to tell her husband, Terry Dubrow, that they were going overbudget on building the kitchen in the new house, a fact that he was dismayed about. Even so, there was no time to be upset for long as Heather finally got to live her dream of opening up a wine bottle with a sabre. As she proclaims in her tagline every week, her life may not be perfect, but it’s pretty close.
Best Moment: Tamra desperately wants to see Heather’s vagina, which she thinks is bedazzled and fancy. Heather’s response? “My fancy vagina is staying in my fancy pants!” Zing!
Vicki Gunvalson
Vicki sat out the trip to Napa because she was due to receive a big award in Florida for her insurance career. She prepared for “the Oscars of the insurance industry” like anyone would by showing Shannon Beador the sexy G-strings she was packing for the occasion. Woohoo, indeed!
Best Moment: Tamra and Heather drunkenly called Vicki from Heather’s wine launch telling her they are getting plenty of “woohoos!” in without her. Vicki was dismayed and wondered how anyone can have fun without her before she proceeded to proclaim herself “the fun bus.” All aboard!
Meghan King Edmonds
You win some and you lose some! That seems to be the philosophy behind Meghan’s induction into OC Housewife life. On the positive side, she was able to suck wine down like such a pro that Tamra declared her to be her new Mini Me (even though Meghan is a half-foot taller). On the negative side, she may have made a new enemy of Shannon.
Meghan may have apologized for the hoedown antics of David Beador last year and gotten an all-clear about that, but a line in the sand was drawn over a phone call about charity. Meghan inquired as to why Shannon refused to help her out, and Shannon stormed out screaming, “I start charities!”
It was a confusing and strange fight, but one thing was made clear: Meghan and Shannon will not be getting matching Best Friends necklaces any time soon.
Best Moment: The show continued to cement its status as the most risque of all the Housewives shows this week with a wine tasting at the scariest winery in Napa, a place decorated with trashily dressed mannequins and rave lights hanging from the ceiling. In a place like that, it’s no suprise that Meghan was able to get a few double entendres about oral sex in as she and Tamra both became involved in sucking wine from a very long taster. The jokes from Meghan were so sexual in nature that it’s not a surprise she appointed Tamra as her new mentor, that’s for sure!
Tamra Judge
Tamra found Jesus this week, and she is ready to tell everyone about it. “I am saved and if you don’t like it, you can suck it!” she declared to viewers while she explained how a member of her husband’s gym got her to believe in God once again.
Jesus may have been found, but Tamra was still lost, having an embarrassing incident at Heather’s party on her way to the bathroom. Shannon was pulling on three pairs of Spanx in the women’s bathroom, so Tamra was forced to steal some toilet paper from the men’s bathroom. She then proceeded to accidentally take some the used toilet paper home with her, in a way so mortifying that Eddie was embarrassed recounting it to the party at breakfast the next morning. Whoops!
Best Moment: Tamra has new boobs and she is desperate for compliments. Throughout Heather’s party, Tamra decided to rub up on all the ladies until they lauded her on her new knockers. She may be saved, but Tamra would like some recognition for her “Jesus jugs,” thank you very much.
Shannon Beador
There is still some healing to be done in the Beador marriage if this week’s episode is anything to go by. The couple took part in possibly the most awkward golf-cart ride in American history as they slowly whirled around the waiting party guests, arguing about the state of the marriage.
Shannon was unhappy that David had three saki bombs at lunch earlier that day. David was mad that Shannon was upset with his drinking. And so they continued to slowly drive around, hashing out their marriage. Eventually, they decided to blame the whole incident on Shannon’s propensity for negative thoughts and cuddle it out.
Sadly, this did not cure Shannon of all of her negative thoughts as she quickly went to a defensive place when Meghan accused her of being rude during their phone call. When things got heated, Shannon stormed out of the party. Maybe she was going to find some saki bombs to partake in?
Best Moment: Shannon was dismayed about many of David’s actions at the hoedown last year, but the fact that he bought $800 sunglasses at the event was a new surprise. Was he inspired by Dana Wilkey’s $25,000 sunglasses from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 2, or is his midlife crisis that strange? Nobody knows, but only the rich can afford to have such ridiculous whims.
