Oh, Johnny Depp, you beautiful, beautiful creature, you. The Oscar nominee and beloved eccentric, 52, stars in Dior's Sauvage fragrance campaign, dropped on Tuesday, Sept. 1, and it's every bit as over-the-top and Depp catalog-inspired as you'd hoped.

Come revel in the wonder that is Johnny Depp, Dior Man. He's the kind of hero who cruises out of the city to Lone Ranger territory, where the bison roam free and eagles fly by his side. He works a slightly more sober version of Jack Sparrow's strut, not to mention the Captain's smudged eyeliner. He asks, "What am I looking for?" True Detective Matthew McConaughey-style, using a touch of his Into the Woods Wolf growl. And all to the tune of "Bad to the Bone."

Basically, if we had to put a mathematical equation to him, it would look something like this:

The 80-second clip ends with the actor, who will soon be reprising the Sparrow role in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, burying his treasure (i.e. the necklace and bangles from his own body) and proclaiming, "I can feel it—it's magic."

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