"It’s unbelievable. It’s the greatest thing on Earth," Kutcher, 36, said on Conan of being dad to baby Wyatt Isabelle, whom he welcomed Oct. 1 with Mila Kunis. "We’re really privileged that we have time and can afford to take time. So we don’t have a nanny or a night nurse of any of the stuff. It’s just the two of us."
Spending time with baby Wyatt has been a blessing for Kutcher, who now considers himself a pro at parenting. "Staying home the first couple of weeks, I’ve learned the little things that will calm down the baby," he said. "So I feel like I’m the baby whisperer now." The actor also joked that he enjoys using his parenting powers to torture his friends. "I like to give the baby to my friends and let [Wyatt] cry for a second," Kutcher admitted to O'Brien. "Then be like, 'Let me just take care of that.'"
Still, Kutcher said his newborn daughter has been on her best behavior. "I feel like we got a good one," the proud papa said. "We put her down and she sleeps. We wake up a couple times a night, and that’s it. I feel really blessed."
Kutcher also revealed the meaning of his daughter's name, which was the result of some scrambling. The actor said he and Kunis, 31, picked a baby name long before she even got pregnant, but the preexisting name did not suit "the energy that we were feeling." Mom made the final decision one night when she told Kutcher, "'This is not the name.'"
He said the inspiration for baby Wyatt's name came to him at a sporting event. "We were going to a Lakers game and I got name Tourette's and I just started listing off anything and everything that I saw: 'Sign! Truck! Wall! Door!'" Kutcher recalled. "She [was] like, 'Shut up!' Then I was like, 'I've got a really dumb idea. What about Wyatt?' She goes, 'That's it.'"
The child's middle name, meanwhile, is more traditional. "We gave her the middle name Isabelle after Mila's grandfather, who was Yitzhak, so it has a little heritage [too]," he said.
After determining the baby's name, the couple went home and grabbed all iterations of Wyatt Isabelle Kutcher on the World Wide Web. The tech entrepreneur and Kunis created WyattKutcher.com, WyattIsabelle.com, and Instagram plus Twitter handles. "I don't want a porn site with my daughter's name on it!" Kutcher reasoned. "It's unacceptable to me."
What the first-time father has accepted is a newfound appreciation for his parents. "As soon as this child was born, I immediately wanted to call my parents and just apologize," the Two and a Half Men star shared, "because I never knew how much they loved me."
Watch him gush about baby Wyatt in the video above!