Brad Kearns isn’t just a hot dad. He’s smart one. The 27-year-old, who shares sons Knox, 2, and Finn, 5 months, with his wife, Sarah, penned a standing ovation-worthy Facebook post about the insane pressure women feel to bounce back after giving birth. 

“Whenever we’re getting ready, I throw on a shirt and shorts and complain that Sarah’s taking too long finding something to wear,” the Australia-based parent wrote on Sunday, October 9. “Without a doubt it always ends up with her saying … ‘I always wear the same thing.’ I’ve made the near fatal mistake of replying, ‘Well, buy more clothes.’”

And social media only makes things worse for new moms. “Oh, what do you f—ing know, the celebrity with a personal trainer, chef, nanny and a makeup artist posts a picture that goes viral of their ‘post baby body,’” Kearns wrote. “That only took 6 weeks. From that point onward the expectation is set. F—k that expectation. Take as long as you need to look after yourself and get yourself back into the swing of things …  Things are tougher than that in the real world.”

“Nobody who loves you is going to care how long you take,” he explained. “What they will care about is your mental health. It’s unhealthy to think 6-12 weeks is enough time to bounce back with your pre-baby body … Set your own bar. The one that works for you.” 

Kearns’ post has been liked more than 3,000 times. “I love your perspective! My bub is soon to be 6 months old, and I’m still wearing maternity clothing. My biggest problem is in my own head though,” wrote one woman, while another commented, “Thank you for being the voice of reason for mums and dads out there.” 

Kearns, who manages a gym, tells Us Weekly he notices women when they are hiding. “It’s just the same things you see. The flowy shirts, the refusal to to wear what they used to wear, the little remarks that make you realize it’s getting them down,” he says. “And I feel like social media doesn’t help that cause.” 

Kearns blogs about parenting at DaDMuM.

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