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This Mom’s Story About Her ’S–t Show Morning’ Is a Must-Read

Tara Wood
Tara Wood

With seven kids living at home, Georgia mom Tara Wood is used to chaotic mornings. But what happened on Friday, September 22, is one for the books.

“My apologies for not being around much this week. Our dog was hit by a car last Saturday and had to have a hind leg amputated. His remaining hind leg was pretty mangled, too, so he’s had to have his wounds cleaned and bandaged every day,” the freelance writer began in a Facebook post published on September 23.

dog, tara wood

Wood went on to explain that after “an emotionally and physically challenging” few days, life delivered some “some super f–kery.” It started when her 12-year-old daughter Mia, who was leaving for the bus stop, announced that she smelled something burning.

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“I noticed it too — it smelled like plastic melting,” wrote Wood. After checking the usual suspects — toaster and hair irons — the 44-year-old woke her husband, Garrett. “He was all ‘What now?’” Wood shared. “And I was ‘BITCH SOMETHING IS BURNING IN THIS HOUSE AND THERE ARE SIX KIDS AND A HOBBLED DOG AND WE ALL NEED TO ESCAPE RIGHT NOW PUT ON YOUR PANTS AND HELP ME NOT DIE WOULD YOU?’”

The mother of Jules, 16, Bell, 14, Mia, Leo, 9, Ronan, 7, Norah, 5, and Marigold, 2, began “running from room to room like a mouse on meth” when she spotted smoke wafting from the game room. “I looked up and saw a sock — one of Leo’s socks — smoldering and melting onto the bulb of the ceiling light fixture.” Wood removed the “flaming gym sock” using one of Marigold’s dolls while Leo watched on.

Tara Wood

When he noted that “Sock Fire” would be a cool band name, Wood wasn’t impressed. “I was all, ‘YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS COULD HAVE BEEN CATASTROPHIC, RIGHT? AND YES THAT WOULD BE A COOL BAND NAME BUT RIGHT NOW I NEED YOU TO OPEN THE WINDOWS AND WINDMILL YOUR ARMS AROUND BECAUSE THE SMELL IS ALL IN MY MOUTH AND I JUST WASHED MY HAIR AND IMMA BE PISSED IF I SMELL LIKE A BONFIRE TODAY GET TO FAILING, FIRESTARTER!”

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Five minutes after Wood “stomped out the smoldering sock on the garage floor” she heard Norah’s “flutey little voice” announcing that her sister, Marigold, 2, was holding a squirrel.

“‘It’s so cute! And it’s not even scared of her. He’s just letting her hold him and kiss him not even moving — come see him!’”

Tara Wood

So, Wood went outside. And there was Marigold clutching a dead squirrel. According to the Wood’s post, their conversation went like this:

Me: “Yeah, sweetheart, I like your squirrel but can Mommy please hold him? He’s, ummm…cold and I need to make him warm.”

Marigold: “No. He sleepy time. I make him warm.”

That’s when Marigold put the animal in her shirt.

“All this happened before 7:00 a.m.,” Wood wrote. “And that’s how life reminds you that s–t can always be weirder so just, like, roll with it.”

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Wood’s story has been shared nearly 50,000 times and HAS received more than 14,000 comments so far.

Tara Wood

“I think people are relating because it’s just kind of life and parenting in a nutshell,” Wood exclusively tells Us Weekly. “Just when you think you might be able to come up for air, there’s always the possibility that something bananas is about to go down. If you can laugh about it and bounce back, it certainly makes this parenting gig more fun and a lot less exhausting.” 

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